PDA

View Full Version : Room 101



Marco
21-02-2008, 10:22
What gets on your nerves - speed cameras, needless government bureaucracy, telesales people, the school run, 4x4s, banks, jobsworths junk mail?

Send them all into Room 101!

I'll start with:

1) Indecisive, unnecessarily slow drivers.

2) Queues of any description, particularly traffic-related ones.

3) Po-faced people with no sense of humour.

4) People who act old before their time.

5) Politics and discussions thereof.

6) Wind-up merchants and people who act belligerently on hi-fi forums, and who have little tolerance for any viewpoint other than their own.


Ok, who's next? :steam:

Marco.

Vinyl Grinder
21-02-2008, 10:24
4) People who act old before their time.

6) Wind-up merchants and people who act belligerently on hi-fi forums and who have little tolerance for any viewpoint other than their own.



That me on 2 counts

:lolsign:

Marco
21-02-2008, 11:10
Would I say that about you, mon ami? :lol:

Another six:

1) Females who qualify as 'mutton dressed as lamb'.

2) Tracksuit bottoms or shell-suits worn by males or females in a non-sporting environment.

3) Fat people in tight clothes (it just makes them look worse).

4) Dim-witted sales assistants.

5) Crap food and/or service in pubs and restaurants.

6) Low-cost package holidays to the Med, and the sort of people who go on them.


Come on, let's have some more! :eyebrows:

Marco.

Vinyl Grinder
21-02-2008, 12:19
Quick 10..

1:Linn/Naim
2.Music after mid '70's
3.Idiots in pubs shouting & balling cos they can't take there booze.
4. areas in greece with english run bars (Stay clear from those places)
5.Dogs
6.Bad breath & scruffy people in general
7.Technics '1210's :lol:
8.People that buy cheap wine in pubs that think there so much better than everyone else (not knowing it's rats piss bought from a warehouse@ £2 a throw)
9.Boy racers especially ones with paint jobs that cost more that the car did
10.Old woman

Filterlab
21-02-2008, 12:54
6) Wind-up merchants and people who act belligerently on hi-fi forums, and who have little tolerance for any viewpoint other than their own.


Well that's bulls**t and I don't agree on the principal that I'm better than you and I know more.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


1. Timewasters at cashpoints.

2. People who take an age to get their wallets out at the supermarket.

3. Tailgaters.

4. This crappy government.

5. Hi-fi dealers who don't respond to questions / enquiries via email.

6. Websites that don't work.

7. People that rave on about the LP12, have they listened to anything else?

8. Speed cameras that don't flash.

9. Women that are too up their own arse not to smile back (welcome to Surrey).

10. TV adverts that link a successful sex life to every product - even diahorrea tablets!

Vinyl Grinder
21-02-2008, 13:54
7. People that rave on about the LP12, have they listened to anything else?



You really think they would admit anything else is better?

Filterlab
21-02-2008, 14:09
You really think they would admit anything else is better?

:) Very true, some of us just know. ;)

Vinyl Grinder
21-02-2008, 16:21
:) Very true, some of us just know. ;)


I've heard cheap medicore decks sound better.On that point if the Linn is the reference point as too many claim why not just buy any old cheap middle of the road deck?

greenhomeelectronics
21-02-2008, 17:16
1. Gordon Brown.
2. All other liars and / or con men.
3. Isms - you know ageism, racsim, sexism. Lesbianism is excluded - obviously.
4. Perspex lids on record decks that turn yellow.
5. Busybodies
6. Stylus fluff
7. the word "ample"
8. Cars with less than 200 BHP
9. People that keep the Anusol next to the toothpaste
10. People that slag off LP12's when I have one for sale :) Also applies to Technics 1210's

Filterlab
21-02-2008, 20:50
...Lesbianism is excluded - obviously....

Particularly in that excellent video you lent me. ;)

Cheers. :)

Rick O
21-02-2008, 22:20
Pubs/Bars that don't serve any real beer.

Filterlab
22-02-2008, 11:53
Pubs/Bars that don't serve any real beer.

Is that ALL?

shane
22-02-2008, 13:19
Any business that describes itself as Premier.

BMW 6-series in golf-club carparks.

42" flat-screen TVs in 12' sitting rooms, especially when mounted above the fire-place. Get a life....

Microsoft Word.

Filterlab
22-02-2008, 13:56
Any business that describes itself as Premier.

Damn straight!

stupinder
22-02-2008, 19:39
In no particular order
Hatefulness
Idiocy
Fuckwits
Imaturity
Wastefulness
Imbiciles
Going grey
Weathered features
Amateur electronics
Morons
There That does it

Filterlab
22-02-2008, 19:45
That's me fecked then. :lol:

Marco
22-02-2008, 19:50
People who fart in lifts.

Marco.

stupinder
22-02-2008, 19:59
Bit of a french thing... Old ladies that spend half an hour at the checkout buying their baguette and coffee, then stand chatting to their mate/relative for another 10 minutes, then fumble around for another minutes ti find their cheque book........ to pay for a baguette and a jar of coffee! Makes me scream quietly inside . Could be worse

Filterlab
22-02-2008, 20:05
Bit of a french thing... Old ladies that spend half an hour at the checkout buying their baguette and coffee, then stand chatting to their mate/relative for another 10 minutes, then fumble around for another minutes ti find their cheque book........ to pay for a baguette and a jar of coffee! Makes me scream quietly inside . Could be worse

Yep, you could live in Britain. :lol:

stupinder
22-02-2008, 20:12
Good point i knew there was a reason for the move. Returned back for 3 days last July and really understood why i never want to return. But there are a few very strange things with life over here in Brittany - anyone seen the film "Revenge of Billy the KId"?

Filterlab
22-02-2008, 20:17
For three days!? Why bother, it's shite. First opportunity (i.e. paying off the debt my ex left me) and I'm off, never to return. :)

Vinyl Grinder
22-02-2008, 20:36
mates/family that walk in a line as if they were blocking a free kick, just can't get past em.

Marco
22-02-2008, 22:26
Here's another one for Room 101... Political correctness. Bollocks to that!!

Marco.

Mike
22-02-2008, 23:53
Central heating boilers!

and British Gas! :steam:

Vinyl Grinder
23-02-2008, 00:36
Japanese mass produced hi-fi

Chris Frost
23-02-2008, 01:22
Drivers who love the middle lane of the motorway and who can't find the fog light 'off' switch.
Timewasters & BS merchants
The dumming down of society
People who can’t be bothered to try.
The Nanny State
Poorly written instruction manuals.
Lawlessness on British streets because of the loss of a sense of community
A population more interested in Jordan’s knickers and Big Celebrity Strictly Dancing in the Jungle than the state of our nation.
Those adults who are thoughtless, careless and selfish.

Vinyl Grinder
23-02-2008, 16:38
1:People that claim specialised hi-fi is a waste of money & that there cheap stakka system sounds just as good...

2:People that claim records are crap because they crackle like mad!

3:People that claim CD is far superior to Vinyl..

Filterlab
23-02-2008, 19:05
1:People that claim specialised hi-fi is a waste of money & that there cheap stakka system sounds just as good...

2:People that claim records are crap because they crackle like mad!

3:People that claim CD is far superior to Vinyl..

I'd go with all of those. :)

Vinyl Grinder
24-02-2008, 02:50
I'd go with all of those. :)

As in agree with me or the fools that claim?:lolsign:

Filterlab
24-02-2008, 10:06
As in agree with me or the fools that claim?:lolsign:

As in agree with all of them. :)

Vinyl Grinder
25-02-2008, 01:14
As in agree with all of them. :)

You Politician Rob? :lol:

Vinyl Grinder
25-02-2008, 01:15
1:Drunken blokes who think you fancy there woman just cos you looked at her once!
2:Night Clubs
3:Spanish holidays especially the island Ibiza
4:Japanese motorbikes
5:BMW/Merc's
6:Plastic windows
7:Warm Beer
8:CD
9:Foreigners who think they can come here & not abide by British law
10:Drug dealers

Chris Frost
25-02-2008, 02:03
Grumpy old curmudgeons stuck in a time-warp
People who don't know the difference between 'their', 'there' and 'they're'
Folk for whom a reliable motorbike is anathema.
Kill-joys who go on holiday just to complain about the place they went to for a holiday
:lolsign:

Vinyl Grinder
25-02-2008, 02:25
Fark yourself..

Chris Frost
25-02-2008, 03:16
Brits abroad who think that shouting loudly is the universal language translator
English holiday makers who travel abroad and spend the whole time in English bars & restaurants
People with no imagination
Cheapskates and those who bitch about the price of everything
Spoiled brats/teenagers/adolescents
Adults who act like spoiled kids
Selfish :wanker:'s who block the diesel only pumps whilst waiting for the petrol pumps.
Myopic drivers who can't read/understand "KEEP CLEAR" painted in 3ft long letters on the road.
Fat useless parents raising fat useless kids who'll go on to raise another generation of fat useless kids
The lack of a euthanasia option or at least an aggressive sterilisation program
The glorification of stupidity on Jeremy Kyle, Trisha et al.
The people who go on Jeremy Kyle, Trisha, etc
Jeremy Kyle, Trisha, etc
Late night quiz shows and those stupid enough to keep ringing them ensuring that these programs continue to be commercially viable.
Anyone who wants to be a host on a late night quiz show
Auto-dialing telemarketing computers.
Foreign call center staff who just won't take no for an answer
200 channels and nothing worth watching.
The proliferation of crap food to boost corporate profits
News programmes where journalists interview other journalist masquerading as Special Correspondents rather than speaking to those actually making the news.
The political spin of "Real choice" which should be read as ineptitude, delay, bureaucracy and financial waste.
The middle-grounding of modern politics
Endless public inquiries whose recommendations are ignore resulting in repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
Mr Winston Ndogo, cousin of the Finance Minister of Bonga Bonga land and his incessant emails asking to deposit £1million in my account.

Chris Frost
25-02-2008, 03:18
Fark yourself..
people who can't take a joke ;)

Vinyl Grinder
25-02-2008, 04:27
People who are so perfect they have to moan 24 times in one thread where generally 10 moans a time will surfice...Joys of being perfect i guess :mental:

Marco
25-02-2008, 09:20
Chris,

Superb set of moans, and I agree with every one, however this one deserves a special mention:


Fat useless parents raising fat useless kids who'll go on to raise another generation of fat useless kids


Feckin' yeah! :lolsign:

:tribe:

There are far too many fat useless slobs in Britain who contribute diddly squat to society other than increasing the strain on the NHS and making tax payers support their layabout lifestyles through endless benefit payments!

These layabouts usually have about 15 kids per family, not because they particularly like children, but because they can get a council house easily and an endless array of benefits to support their drink, fags, drugs, and junk food habit.

The father of the 'family' will be permanently on the dole because of some fictitious or self-inflicted medical condition, the mother almost permanently pregnant, they will both swear every second word, have a penchant for wearing shell-suits and/or tracksuit bottoms three sizes too small to properly house their massive bottoms, with similarly massive bellies spilling out the waistband at the other end, and a seemingly permanent aversion to soap and water. The mother will usually also have a serious issue with facial hair.

Once the kids grow up their neglected and (often) abusive upbringing and lack of education will ensure they enter a world of crime and become thieves, drug dealers, murderers, or just general good-for-nothing wasters, often much like their parents, spending their time behind bars or appearing on the Jeremy Kyle show, and spawning another generation of similar good-for-nothing wasters, and so it goes on...

I believe that you mentioned Euthanasia? ;)

Marco.

Chris Frost
25-02-2008, 10:12
People who are so perfect they have to moan 24 times in one thread where generally 10 moans a time will surfice...Joys of being perfect i guess :mental:Perfect? Moi? Oh far from it. No, I'm just practicing being a curmudgeonly old stick in the mud ;)

I love the sound of that word...curmudgeon :lolsign:

Chill out VG, you do get that I'm just having a laugh, don't you? Or are we back to post #36?

Filterlab
25-02-2008, 10:31
People who don't know the difference between 'their', 'there' and 'they're' :lolsign:

Damn straight! The times I've tried to explain to adults about possessives and infinitives!

I learnt it when I was ten, why didn't everyone?

Chris Frost
25-02-2008, 10:36
Chris,

Superb set of moans, and I agree with every one, however this one deserves a special mention:


Fat useless parents raising fat useless kids who'll go on to raise another generation of fat useless kids

Feckin' yeah! :lolsign:

There used to be a reason for folk like this, and they had a special name....Cannon Fodder :lol:

Modern medicines, the Welfare State and a change in military tactics have a lot to answer for.

Marco
25-02-2008, 12:07
LOL. I doubt that I'd give them that much of an introduction to life!

Marco.

Steve Toy
25-02-2008, 12:59
I doubt that I'd give them that much of an introduction to life!

:lol:

Chris Frost
25-02-2008, 19:10
Here's another one for Room 101 - Smoking Bans.

I'm not a smoker and I choose not to be around smokers if I can help it, but there's something that's been overlooked in the headlong rush to ban the fag. For the last 50 years the NHS has been propped up with the substantial tax contributions from cigarette sales. Yes, smoking diseases placed a burden on the NHS, but in my view smokers paid twice over for the privilege of dying from lung cancer, heart disease and a myriad of other afflictions - once through their NI contributions and a second time through tax.

Now the Government is encouraging the country to give up. Dietary related health problems are going to be the major cash drain on NHS resources; and how much does the Government collect in tax on unhealthy food by comparison?

Bring back smoking, I say. If I'm going to be ill I want a nice comfy bed in a well funded hospital to be paid for by Mr & Mrs 60-a-day thank you very much.

Marco
05-06-2012, 09:30
I thought that I'd resurrect this one... Let's hear about all the things that piss you off!

So what muppetry does your tits right in? :eyebrows:

Marco.

prestonchipfryer
05-06-2012, 09:59
Twats that drive too close behind.

Morbidly obese young single mothers with tattoos and a fag hanging out of their mouth.

People that don't say please and thank-you.

TV, what a load of tripe it mostly is!

Motorists who do not indicate whether they are turning left or right (fucking wankers).

Today's weather, it's pissing down now and I have to go out.

Bingo (or housey-housey if you are really old)

That's a few for now. :D

Macca
05-06-2012, 10:00
Here is a few of mine then:

1 Rubbish Fish and Chips - how hard is it to get right? I mean seriously?
2 Do Gooders, especially those who make a good living out of it
3 Bleeding Hearts
4 people who get promoted beyond their ability and think they are wonderful
5 The people who promoted them
6 People who make you wait 10 minutes at a cash point trying 5 different cards multiple times then walk off without withdrawing any money. If you have got no money why have you got 5 different accounts?
7 people who stand passivley watching the cashier bag up their groceries for them and then start searching for their wallet/purse as though it is a surprise to them that they have to pay.

bogle111
05-06-2012, 10:01
As Marco said in the first post of this thread:

"I'll start with:

1) Indecisive, unnecessarily slow drivers. Tourists who forget indicators and think everyone else is on holiday.

3) Po-faced people with no sense of humour. Brain dead who can't laugh at themselves.

4) People who act old before their time. This I would link with 6)

6) Wind-up merchants and people who act belligerently on hi-fi forums, and who have little tolerance for any viewpoint other than their own. Which is generally because they know Llareggub inside out but need to be heard or because they own one."

Plus

5) People that sneeze without covering their face. Like I really want to share their infirmity.

6) Some people in these motorised invalid mobiles that think they have a right to go first and run over your feet and say nothing after the experience. They do not even have a number on them to report them with. (Obese women are usually the worst at this, the men seem okay.)

7) Cold coffee - I have one now.

8) Wives that won't bring you a hot refill!!!

9) Aggressive women!!!

Excellent thread Marco, and thanks for resurrecting. I feel better now.

Regs
Pete

Marco
05-06-2012, 10:26
Here is a few of mine then:

7 people who stand passivley watching the cashier bag up their groceries for them and then start searching for their wallet/purse as though it is a surprise to them that they have to pay.

Continuing the same theme:

8) Check-out assistants who seem able only to work at one pace, which is slow as fucking snail's shite, even when there's a massive queue, which miraculously they always appear blissfully 'unaware' of! :guns:

9) Only two tills open, at supermarkets, out of 30, both with massive queues at them, despite there being plenty of staff milling around, who are too busy doing more 'important' things than serving people!!

I bloody 'collar' the fuckers, I do, and demand that they open more tills immediately!

10) Self-service check-outs... OMG, where do I start?? The bloody things have a mind of their own and never recognise barcodes - and anyway, why should I pay top-dollar for my groceries, and then have to scan and pack the bloody stuff myself?? :rolleyes:

It's just an excuse to save paying a check-out assistant's wages! When supermarkets offer discounts to customers, off of their shopping, for the inconvenience of using self-service checkouts, then I might consider suffering the inconvenience!!

Marco.

Macca
05-06-2012, 10:40
9) Only two tills open, at supermarkets, out of 30, both with massive queues at them, despite there being plenty of staff milling around, who are too busy doing more 'important' things than serving people!!

I bloody 'collar' the fuckers, I do, and demand that they open more tills immediately!

.

Try that in my local Sainsbury's and the f**kers will bar you. Seen it happen.

It is hard to resist though. There is always one with a headset on - for what?- whose job role seems to consist solely of stalking about 'looking concerned' and at least another two who will be cocking about at an empty checkout pretending to do paperwork. And I hate the self service shite - that really winds me up. Like I can be bothered to learn how to do that - piss off - if you are buying a couple of bottles of beer you have to get an assistant over to confirm to the machine that you are over 18 - what a brilliant idea.
Everyone should refuse to use them.

Marco
05-06-2012, 10:51
Try that in my local Sainsbury's and the f**kers will bar you. Seen it happen.


Ha - that would be funny... It's not like there is a shortage of supermarkets! And how exactly would they enforce such a ban?

Besides, it's how you word it to the twats. I'm not daft enough to lose control, but certainly firm enough to get my point across! I've not failed yet at getting one of the wanker's backsides parked at a till, and serving customers, instead of fannying about, trying to look 'important' ;)

I do the same thing in banks, restaurants, or in any place where I feel that I'm receiving poor service.

Ok, here's another one to add to my list:

Royal events (such as currently the Queen's bloody Diamond Jubilee), which take over the whole country, and impinge annoyingly on your lifestyle (dominating the TV, radio and news, to a ridiculous level), when you couldn't give two hoots about such PISH!! :steam: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Marco.

Rare Bird
05-06-2012, 10:53
Idiots that think our village is an extension to Brands hatch..

Macca
05-06-2012, 10:55
Ha - that would be funny... It's not like there is a shortage of supermarkets! And how exactly would they enforce such a ban?

.

I don't have a car so if I got banned from Sainsbury's I would have to shop at Lidl :eek:

As far as the Jubilee goes well if it wasn't happening I would be at work right now instead of sat on my arse getting paid for nothing - there are some advantages to not being self employed :eyebrows:

Marco
05-06-2012, 11:06
Indeed, although being self-employed and semi-retired, for me, such things are neither here nor there...

Regarding supermarkets, I take your point about not having a car, but in many ways I prefer Aldi to Sainsburys (or indeed most other supermarkets, save Morrisons and Waitrose).

Their fresh produce is superb, and much cheaper than that available from most other supermarkets. Certain brands that they sell (such as Del Rivo orange juice, which is, in fact, Tropicana) is identical to that sold under other, more recognised, brand names.

Aldi have a fantastic selection of quality cold meats, such as Parma Ham, Salami, German sausages (such as Bratwurst), and all sorts of stuff, again much cheaper and of better quality than that sold at other supposedly 'better' supemarkets. Also, some of the beer (particularly the German stuff) and wine that they sell is superb quality, and very good value, too!

Furthermore, their staff are always on the ball. Never once have I found them less than polite, helpful and knowledgeable. Furthermore, the check-out staff shift themselves, when serving people, instead of seemingly being on a constant 'go slow', like most of the dead-beats at other stores!!

I could go on... Nope, I won't have a bad word said against Aldi or Lidl! ;)

Marco.

Stratmangler
05-06-2012, 11:11
Grumpy old curmudgeons stuck in a time-warp
People who don't know the difference between 'their', 'there' and 'they're'


I'm in agreement with these two, so that's most of you lot then :ner:
And I cant stand peeple who cant spel properly. OK, there's some allowance for dyslexia, but there's a spellchecker on computers FFS :doh:

Marco
05-06-2012, 11:18
I'm in agreement with these two, so that's most of you lot then :ner:


Not guilty! ;)

On a similar theme, people who, when agreeing vehemently with someone else, write: 'Here here!' instead of 'Hear, hear!'

When I see the former, I'm always tempted to reply: 'Where, where?' :eyebrows:

Marco.

Rare Bird
05-06-2012, 11:27
One of the reasons i tend to type in Yorkshire dialects is so arses don't pull me up about poor spelling

Dominic Harper
05-06-2012, 11:36
Peeple hoo moan bout bad spelin an gramer:lol::lol::lol::lol:

Natalie;)

Rare Bird
05-06-2012, 11:46
Who cares as longer er anuver cun undurstan it loike

Martinh
05-06-2012, 11:52
People who moan a lot really annoy me :)

Then, when they've moaned so much that their family can't stand it any more, they start moaning on forums, hoping to find someone that will listen :lol:

Oh god, I'm starting to moan too :)

Marco
05-06-2012, 12:15
Another one:

Folk who can't seem to function without having some form of technological gadgetry strapped to them 24/7, and particularly those who insist on having mobile phones continually switched on, so that they go 'ring-a-ding-ding', inside in public places, such as small pubs and restaurants, where other folk are enjoying some peace and quiet! :steam:

Crowds of loud (usually women) inside pubs and restaurants, who have that annoying type of screechy laughter, and who insist on giggling at anything and everything, creating a cacophony so loud that you can hardly hear yourself speak! ARRRRGGGHHHH.... It drives me bonkers!! :mental: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Marco.

Rare Bird
05-06-2012, 12:22
Aye & people who put on this dreadfully false laugh, thats gets worse when they realise people are noticing them :doh:

I had the pleasure of being in surroundings at the weekend with one such offender, the good news was it didnt last long ;)

Marco
05-06-2012, 12:26
Aye & people who put on this dreadfully false laugh, thats get worse when they realise people are noticing them :doh:


That's *exactly* what I'm getting at. It's that annoyingly false 'hehehehe', every two seconds. Crowds of women on 'hen nights' are the worst offenders!

Marco.

Puffin
05-06-2012, 12:27
1. The "5 items or SLOWER till. It always has some idiot manning it.
2. People who have no idea that they have to pay for the goods until they are told that'll be £11.74 (wanker then hunts for money)
3. People with no sense of humour.
4. People who call their kids what they consider to be trendy names, so that they hope that they impress like minded cocks will think "Ooh how clever are they" I must be friends with them.
5. Inverted snobbery. Take the chip off your shoulder.
6. Energy companies that are amazed that I do not want to save £50 a year by signing up with them. I love their reaction when I say that I love to waste money rather than save it.
7. People who think that they are important for absolutely no valid reason whatsoever. What they don't realise is that they have a personality disorder and nobody likes them.
8. People who drive thin cars that are are higher than the norm and resemble Postman Pat's van. Same drivers who in fact seem incapable of driving in any way resembling other "normal" drivers.
9. Drivers who cause untold delay and misery by not knowing the width of their vehicle. Same drivers who will pass you (passing a parked vehicle) whilst hugging or crossing the white line as they must leave at least a car's width between them and the nearside of the vehicle. Cunts.
10. Loads more that have escaped me at the moment!
11. I knew there was one I forgot! There should be a message "Unexpected shopper in the self-service chekout" instead of the infuriating "unexpected item in the bagging area" NO THERE FU*KING ISN'T, your crap machines don't work......EVER!

Rare Bird
05-06-2012, 12:30
Marco:
Now i've dropped my boozing for England antics, i choose to drink in more up market surroundings as i don't consume a fraction of what i did, if say a bottle of wine is expensive it doesnt matter anymore, at least you get no riff raff present.

Macca
05-06-2012, 12:31
Grown men wearing flip flops to walk about the streets
people who are proud of cycling to work
The moronic nature of TV advertising
I pods
Smartfones
Spitting
talent contests
Unecessary and wilful use of the metric system e.g - 'my room is 3.5 metres by 4.3 metres' - eh? come again mate? Napoleon lost, get over it.

webby
05-06-2012, 12:33
Sun cream.

See, I burn easily but I hate sun cream. The fact that I can't go out without covering myself in the stuff really annoys me. Thing is, I have to touch the stuff now cos I have to cover the kids in it!

Marco
05-06-2012, 12:35
Marco:
Now i've dropped my boozing for England antics, i choose to drink in more up market surroundings as i don't consume a fraction of what i did, if say a bottle of wine is expensive it doesnt matter anymore, at least you get no riff raff present.

Nice one, mate. I hope you can keep it up! :)

Marco.

Marco
05-06-2012, 12:44
9. Drivers who cause untold delay and misery by not knowing the width of their vehicle. Same drivers who will pass you (passing a parked vehicle) whilst hugging or crossing the white line as they must leave at least a car's width between them and the nearside of the vehicle. Cunts.


Too fucking right. Add to that:

1) Idiots who can't park their cars properly, or rather who can, but can't be arsed - and as such take up twice the room that they should!!

2) Ditherers.

Basically, slow and indecisive drivers (particularly those who take an AGE to shift at roundabouts, when there is nothing coming from the right, for miles, but insist on waiting for that car, just visible in the horizon, to arrive FIRST before they bloody move!!), and who seemingly have no confidence driving in any way other than in a straight line, and who can't adjust differently or handle adverse weather conditions!

For example, ever watched how some brain-dead muppets drive in the snow, particularly uphill on side streets, revving like fuck and spinning their wheels, and thus turning the place into a freaking ice-rink?? :doh:

3) Self-appointed traffic Police officers.

You know, the smug cock-jockeys who hog the outside lane of a motorway at 70 MPH, and who won't let you pass because they think that they're 'entitled' to be there (even though the road is clear for them to move into the middle lane) just because they're doing the speed limit and are annoyed that you want to go faster?

I'd line all those coonts up for a right good slapping!!!

Marco.

bogle111
05-06-2012, 12:45
10. Loads more that have escaped me at the moment!


Yes, they are probably the worst!

I also detest women doing their make-up in the mirror when the light is green so that only two cars get through. If it falls off that easy, use glue!

The RAC should teach them what a horn sounds like, not what it looks like!

Oh yea, and men that have that "just shagged" look, can't be bothered to comb and paid £30 for the haircut. Our dog looks better than that.

Dominic Harper
05-06-2012, 13:24
Too fucking right. Add to that:

1) Idiots who can't park their cars properly, or rather who can, but can't be arsed - and as such take up twice the room that they should!!

2) Ditherers.

Basically, slow and indecisive drivers (particularly those who take an AGE to shift at roundabouts, when there is nothing coming from the right, for miles, but insist on waiting for that car, just visible in the horizon, to arrive FIRST before they bloody move!!), and who seemingly have no confidence driving in any way other than in a straight line, and who can't adjust differently or handle adverse weather conditions!

For example, ever watched how some brain-dead muppets drive in the snow, particularly uphill on side streets, revving like fuck and spinning their wheels, and thus turning the place into a freaking ice-rink?? :doh:

3) Self-appointed traffic Police officers.

You know, the smug cock-jockeys who hog the outside lane of a motorway at 70 MPH, and who won't let you pass because they think that they're 'entitled' to be there (even though the road is clear for them to move into the middle lane) just because they're doing the speed limit and are annoyed that you want to go faster?

I'd line all those coonts up for a right good slapping!!!

Marco.

The self appointed traffic Police officers, or those Police officers that aren't really officers, they call themselves Specials. I don't mean to be rude, but I think it is special needs they have because they are certainly special. They think they have the power over you, and all's they have is the power to do a citizens arrest.


Natalie;)

Stratmangler
05-06-2012, 13:26
The self appointed traffic Police officers, or those Police officers that aren't really officers, they call themselves Specials. I don't mean to be rude, but I think it is special needs they have because they are certainly special. They think they have the power over you, and all's they have is the power to do a citizens arrest.


Natalie;)

Had one try to nab you for summat, eh? :eyebrows:

Puffin
05-06-2012, 13:28
Too fucking right. Add to that:

1) Idiots who can't park their cars properly, or rather who can, but can't be arsed - and as such take up twice the room that they should!!

2) Ditherers.

Basically, slow and indecisive drivers (particularly those who take an AGE to shift at roundabouts, when there is nothing coming from the right, for miles, but insist on waiting for that car, just visible in the horizon, to arrive FIRST before they bloody move!!), and who seemingly have no confidence driving in any way other than in a straight line, and who can't adjust differently or handle adverse weather conditions!

For example, ever watched how some brain-dead muppets drive in the snow, particularly uphill on side streets, revving like fuck and spinning their wheels, and thus turning the place into a freaking ice-rink?? :doh:

3) Self-appointed traffic Police officers.

You know, the smug cock-jockeys who hog the outside lane of a motorway at 70 MPH, and who won't let you pass because they think that they're 'entitled' to be there (even though the road is clear for them to move into the middle lane) just because they're doing the speed limit and are annoyed that you want to go faster?

I'd line all those coonts up for a right good slapping!!!

Marco.

+1 with knobs on to all the above!:lol:

Number 2. The "phantom vehicle" viewers. So inept at driving and so scared/timid that I believe that they genuinely see cars that aren't there. If they ever knew it, they would probably never own up to having been taught to "give way to those from the right". Mind you roundabouts are a complete mystery to some.

Dominic Harper
05-06-2012, 13:29
And something else that annoys me, people on forums who use words like Lencouragement or Garrardistic. Stupid words that have no meaning.

Natalie;)

Dominic Harper
05-06-2012, 13:32
Had one try to nab you for summat, eh? :eyebrows:


No, but I once witnessed an elderly lady trying to get some advice from one of them and they just completely dismissed her. In the end, I spoke to her and helped her out. But that is not why they annoy me, they annoy me because they walk the streets with an air of authority and yet have no power to do anything.

Natalie;)

Marco
05-06-2012, 13:32
Hi Nat,

No, I'm talking about ordinary motorists, who take it upon themselves to impede your progress on the road, simply because you are (often for a short while only) breaking the law, by doing over 70 MPH on the outside lane of a motorway.

What the fuck has it got to do with them??

Their idiotically judgemental behaviour makes me seethe, and by fuck, I let them know ALL about it when I pass!! ;)

Marco.

Marco
05-06-2012, 13:39
Number 2. The "phantom vehicle" viewers. So inept at driving and so scared/timid that I believe that they genuinely see cars that aren't there. If they ever knew it, they would probably never own up to having been taught to "give way to those from the right". Mind you roundabouts are a complete mystery to some.

Those idiots shouldn't be allowed on the road, but sadly, they're a by-product of our painfully inept driving test exam procedure. It's the same with old people who no longer have the speed of reaction or confidence to drive with any degree of proficiency.

Once you're over 70, it should be compulsory to re-sit your driving test (or some form of test) to ensure that you're still safe to drive, and not simply a hazard to other road users. If you fail, then your licence should be withdrawn, plain and simple. As it is, we've got doddering 80+ year olds crawling around everywhere at 20 MPH, who haven't got a scooby-doo what's going on around them, often causing chaos! :mental:

Marco.

Dominic Harper
05-06-2012, 13:41
Hi Nat,

No, I'm talking about ordinary motorists, who take it upon themselves to impede your progress on the road, simply because you are (often for a short while only) breaking the law, by doing over 70 MPH on the outside lane of a motorway.

What the fuck has it got to do with them what I'm doing??

Their idiotic behaviour makes me seethe, and by fuck, I let them know all about it when I pass!! ;)

Marco.

I know I shouldn't say this, but I was in a bit of conflict of this nature. A guy almost took the passenger side of my door out, and my sister was sat in the passenger seat. So I pressed as hard as I could on the accelerator so I could overtake him, and then stamped as hard as I could on my brakes right in front of him. Yes stupid really, I just saw red and I was very young and a bit naive.

Natalie;)

Puffin
05-06-2012, 13:46
Yes, I have done silly things like that. I hate the "undertaker" (although I might have seen him earlier than expected!) and have outpaced them when they thought they could get back into the lane, thereby closing the door on them. Great fun, but I don't do it anymore. And if anyone is womdering if I was doing my "middle lane cloth cap" act, no I was doing 85mph.

Marco
05-06-2012, 13:46
Lol, Nat... We've all done mad shit, sometimes! :eyebrows:

Don't get me wrong, most of the time I'm a very considerate and careful driver, but it really angers me when folk deliberately get in my way, and hold me back, when I'm in a hurry, just out of spite! :nono:

Marco.

Effem
05-06-2012, 14:38
I would like to put into Room 101 HM Revenue and Customs in it's entirety.

I keep getting demands for "fines" totalling well over £1,000 because I have not completed an online return. First of all I do not have a UTR despite asking repeatedly for it, next I have never been able to access the bloomin' HMRC website because of "technical problems" and their technical support team is about as much use as a chocolate teapot, because they have never been able to solve these "technical problems" so I can log on. I then get a string of letters saying that I MUST file an online return and no other method will suffice, followed by more demands and dire threats from a debt collection agency. I have written to the originator of the demands explaining these "technical problems" and the fact that I had no internet access during the submission period, plus my heart attack was just a tad more important to me then than filling in an online return that I couldn't anyway, for an amount that attracted no tax liability to begin with, in fact the fines are more than I actually earned :steam:

Heard nothing from HMRC since that letter and that bothers me even more not knowing how they are going to use their unlimited powers :rolleyes:

Puffin
05-06-2012, 16:12
I did 4 months S/E work in 2008 and since have been plagued by HMRC. I sent in a SETR in 2009, paid what tax I thought was due. They agreed...end of story. Became employed in Jan 2009 and was asked for a tax return. Ignored it....long story short, in March 2012!!!! they agreed I did not have to provide a tax return for 2009/2010 nor one for this year + the penalties incurred would be cancelled.

Martinh
05-06-2012, 20:38
HMRC ARE USELESS IN MY EXPERIENCE.

I have a file 6 inches thick with correspondence from various HMRC departments all over the uk for...wait for it... a £17 bill :rolleyes:

it was to do with the Construction Industry Scheme, where you collect the tax for anyone you employ in that industry. HMRC made a mistake in the setting up of my account and then no one could (or wanted to) fix it. Meanwhile, the penalties were coming in thick and fast, with no way to stop them or solve the problem.

In the end I told them to stick it and that I wouldn't be employing anyone, as it was all too difficult. They couldnt give a toss.

Marco
05-06-2012, 21:30
H'ok, chaps, let's move on now from the HMRC....

What about bullshite, like celebrity magazines and reality TV? The ridiculous mentality of 'keeping up with Jones''? Aspiring middle-class snobs? The vulgar nouveau riche? Tanning salons? Blue jeans, worn by the over 60s? Chavs? Farmfoods? Scratch cards? 'Rom-com' films? Folk over 50 who insist on dying their hair? 'Comb-overs' or wigs to hide baldy pates? Nooooooo.... :lol:

Bin all that pish, I say!!

Marco.

Reid Malenfant
05-06-2012, 21:44
Blue jeans, on the over 60s?

Bin 'em all, I say!!

Marco.
Aye, put McCartney where he belongs :) Dustbin :D

Doddering old & young people in the supermarket that don't know where they are going. They stop right in front of you or don't bother looking to see if anyone is coming by beside them & then they swing that trolley :steam:

People parking in front of your driveway.

Car drivers who think it's ok to blast out their music with the windows down, I guess they figure they won't be around long enough to get a glasgow kiss :D

Pricks with exhausts that are designed to make the car owner look or sound cool :rolleyes:

People digging up the road or footpath & then cutting off your electricity without letting you know it's going to happen (because someone down the road has a fault) :steam: :steam: :steam:

Refuse lorries that you can hear for at least 400 yards as the buggers need a bit of oil to stop them squeeling - give em some lube ffs :mental:

The weather :lol: It's never just right, it's always too hot or too cold :eyebrows:

Stratmangler
05-06-2012, 21:45
Blue jeans, worn by the over 60s?

Are you saying that I should stop wearing denim jeans in ten years time because I'll have passed my 60th birthday?
Now that is ageist bullshit of the highest order.

Marco
05-06-2012, 21:46
Lol... Only if you don't think that you look ridiculous in them! ;)

I certainly won't be wearing them, if I reach 60. The problem is that some people think that they can continue to get away with the same look they've always had for the last 40 years, instead of adapting with age... Ponytails and biker's jackets are another valid example: just wrong, after a certain age! :nono:

It would be just as bad as grannies in short skirts!! :eek: :spew:

Marco.

Reid Malenfant
05-06-2012, 21:54
Lol... Only if you don't think that you look ridiculous in them! ;)

I certainly won't be wearing them, if I reach 60. The problem is that some people think that they can get away with the same look they've always had for the last 40 years, instead of adapting with age... Ponytails and biker's jackets are another valid example: just wrong, after a certain age! :nono:

Marco.
I was just wondering about this :D

So you'll be into suits or a pair of chinos then Marco? :eyebrows:

Me, I don't wear jeans anyway, so I'll be ok as OAP combat Mark :lol:


I'd honestly love to know what you think you'll be wearing, it's not something I have ever considered in all honesty, so spill the beans :D

Marco
05-06-2012, 21:57
So you'll be into suits or a pair of chinos then Marco? :eyebrows:


Chinos? Fuck off, lol! Joggers and me slippers, mate! :D

Marco.

Stratmangler
05-06-2012, 21:57
Let me know when you're ready for your big slipper and incontinence pants then :eyebrows:

RichB
05-06-2012, 22:06
All of the above...

Really it comes down to manners and a lack thereof.. folk of every generation are guilty I'm afraid.

Down the chute with em all until they learn to be polite.

Marco
05-06-2012, 22:07
Let me know when you're ready for your big slipper and incontinence pants then


Will I get a discount using your loyalty card? :eyebrows:

Marco.

Rare Bird
05-06-2012, 22:20
Marco: in 20 years time i will pretty much resemble Gandalf with long lucious glory (even though, going by the rate me hair is going grey that time frame maybe cut by half)..I always have & always will have long hair as long as i still have a full head of hair that is :wheniwasaboy:

Stratmangler
05-06-2012, 22:21
In the recent hot spell I took to wearing one of these....

http://www.gardenhats.co.uk/Pics/gentspanama.jpg

Does this conform with your idea of correct apparel for the ageing, Marco?
If so, I'm getting there (dis)gracefully :eyebrows:

Marco
05-06-2012, 22:28
Nice. I took to wearing this:


http://img825.imageshack.us/img825/6734/daftfrock.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/825/daftfrock.jpg/)

:D

Marco.

Stratmangler
05-06-2012, 22:30
Nice. I took to wearing this:


http://img825.imageshack.us/img825/6734/daftfrock.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/825/daftfrock.jpg/)

:D

Marco.

:D

Macca
06-06-2012, 12:09
A great sight one often sees in Liverpool is old men with their flat caps and grey macs also wearing the latest tracksuit bottoms and 'prison white' trainers - always makes me smile, it is so incongruous.

Marco
06-06-2012, 14:26
Lol... That's quite funny, but it's a damn sight more normal looking than if they were going around with (dyed) ponytailed hair, leather biker's jackets and stonewashed jeans! :eyebrows:

Grow old (dis)gracefully, by all means, but it can be done without looking like a twat! :D

Marco.

Dominic Harper
06-06-2012, 14:44
H'ok, chaps, let's move on now from the HMRC....

What about bullshite, like celebrity magazines and reality TV? The ridiculous mentality of 'keeping up with Jones''? Aspiring middle-class snobs? The vulgar nouveau riche? Tanning salons? Blue jeans, worn by the over 60s? Chavs? Farmfoods? Scratch cards? 'Rom-com' films? Folk over 50 who insist on dying their hair? 'Comb-overs' or wigs to hide baldy pates? Nooooooo.... :lol:

Bin all that pish, I say!!

Marco.

I'm not having a go at Kylie personally, but have any of you guys seen her latest video. She is dressed like a 16 year old and yes I know Kylie is very pretty and petite, but she is 45 years old. Were do you draw the bloody line. At least Sir Tom Jones has bowed out and decided to grow old gracefully lol. And of course their is the likes of Madonna, another 50 year old trying to be 21 again, and not for getting Cher who we all know has had more resurface jobs than the M1 :lol:. What is wrong with growing old gracefully. These people have too much money and know bloody style.

Natalie;)

Tim
06-06-2012, 18:10
Personally I couldn't give a flying flipper what people wear at whatever age or how long their hair is, down to them and what they prefer - who are we to judge?

I do think this is pushing it a bit though ;)

http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w63/greatgig/tumblr_l6dlazEGEA1qcxgsp.jpg

Dominic Harper
06-06-2012, 18:19
Personally I couldn't give a flying f*** what people wear at whatever age or how long their hair is, down to them and what they prefer - who are we to judge?

I do think this is pushing it a bit though ;)

http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w63/greatgig/tumblr_l6dlazEGEA1qcxgsp.jpg

That is bloody funny. Well I give a f*** because I can't wear it myself :lol:. Dom said he was going to post and defend Kylie. Kylie, she makes all you men go weak at the knees :eyebrows:. Anyway, I think your pick is bloody hilarious.

Natalie;)

Tim
06-06-2012, 18:31
Dom said he was going to post and defend Kylie. Kylie, she makes all you men go weak at the knees
How could anybody not like Kylie?
I know where my vote would go between these two . . . :eek:

http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w63/greatgig/joolskylie460.jpg

http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w63/greatgig/adele3.jpg

Macca
07-06-2012, 08:00
I'm not having a go at Kylie personally, but have any of you guys seen her latest video. She is dressed like a 16 year old and yes I know Kylie is very pretty and petite, but she is 45 years old. ;)

Shes same age as me, 43, and she can come round my gaff dressed as a schoolgirl any day - she will recieve a very warm welcome ;)

Marco
07-06-2012, 08:54
Yesh, and I bet you'd 'warm' her bott-ette up, too! :eyebrows:

Marco.

anthonyTD
07-06-2012, 08:58
Twats that drive too close behind.

Morbidly obese young single mothers with tattoos and a fag hanging out of their mouth.

People that don't say please and thank-you.

TV, what a load of tripe it mostly is!

Motorists who do not indicate whether they are turning left or right (fucking wankers).

Today's weather, it's pissing down now and I have to go out.

Bingo (or housey-housey if you are really old)

That's a few for now. :D
John,
we must be twins!:lol:
A...

anthonyTD
07-06-2012, 09:25
Another personal favourite of mine...
People who throw rubbish out of car windows!
I kid you not, i was following a car once where there were children on board, next thing i know, out of the window comes a dirty Nappy!
Just imagine if i had been on a motorbike!
It would have been like something out of Alien...
A...

Marco
07-06-2012, 09:28
You could've worn it as a Turban! :D

Marco.

anthonyTD
07-06-2012, 09:32
You could've worn it as a Turban! :D

Marco.
:lol:

Rare Bird
07-06-2012, 09:41
:lolsign:

Rare Bird
07-06-2012, 09:43
Wive's that decides they want to chat when you put your headpones on, or more to the point thhink your a master at lip reading

Thing Fish
07-06-2012, 15:06
All religion.
Benefit spongers.
TV chefs.
Commercial side of Christmas.
Litter louts.
Spitting.

northwest
07-06-2012, 16:16
Lol, Nat... We've all done mad shit, sometimes! :eyebrows:

Don't get me wrong, most of the time I'm a very considerate and careful driver, but it really angers me when folk deliberately get in my way, and hold me back, when I'm in a hurry, just out of spite! :nono:

Marco.

Marco, I think you are also forgetting the TOTAL F*CKWIT who stops in the middle of the road and then flashes their lights to allow a motorist out of a side road when/if they had taken the trouble to look in their rear view mirror they would see that:

A) They have stopped you in your tracks
B) There is no other freaking vehicle within a thousand yards

so if they had done nothing, we could ALL have got on with the job without risk.
It is my fervent hope that one day someone gets into a (very minor) accident under these circumstances and I am able to point finger at said muppet as the actual cause of the accident!
However, your next comment:


Once you're over 70, it should be compulsory to re-sit your driving test (or some form of test) to ensure that you're still safe to drive, and not simply a hazard to other road users. If you fail, then your licence should be withdrawn, plain and simple.

Is one I wholly disagree with. Abso Lutely NOT! If that happens they will see me for the lunatic I really am and I just can't be having it!

Marco
07-06-2012, 16:32
So what would you rather, Graham, loads of doddering septuagenarians and octogenarians out on the road, who are completely unsafe and dangerous drivers??

What happens when one of them knocks down and kills a kid because they didn't have fast enough reactions (or good enough eyesight) to stop in time, when said kid walks out all of a sudden in front of them, into the middle of the road?? How would you feel if, at 70+ years old, that driver was you???

I'm not being ageist here. The *ONLY* people who should be driving are those who are 100% competent, and have been recently tested as such, no matter what age they are.

If, however, at whatever age you are, you're quite clearly an incompetent driver, then you shouldn't be on the road - simples!! Safety must always come first.

There is no sensible argument against that.

I'd ban all the youngsters, too, who drive around like bloody lunatics!! In fact, I'd raise the legal minimum driving age to 21, for all males, and prevent them from buying cars over a certain cc, for a year until they've proved themselves as being competent.

Marco.

Tim
07-06-2012, 16:52
The *ONLY* people who should be driving are those who are 100% competent, and have been recently tested as such, no matter what age they are.
Agree 100% Marco, our driver licensing laws need some serious readjustment. Hit 70 and there should be a mandatory re-newel procedure. Take a test to see if you are still competent behind the wheel and this should also include signing off by your GP. There should also be a proper eyesight test incorporated in this too. Fail any part of this procedure and sorry no licence renewal.

My Dad got to 79 before I stopped him driving and insisted he get rid of the car and used to be an RAF pilot. He took me to Ireland and drove straight trough a red light light without even knowing it was there and nearly took someone out on a roundabout too. I took the wheel for the remainder of our holiday and not long after getting back I made sure he got shot of the car. Nobody should be able to continue driving until they are either incapable of doing so or if they die.

A driving licence is a privilege not a right.

prestonchipfryer
07-06-2012, 16:55
Another personal favourite of mine...
People who throw rubbish out of car windows!
I kid you not, i was following a car once where there were children on board, next thing i know, out of the window comes a dirty Nappy!
Just imagine if i had been on a motorbike!
It would have been like something out of Alien...
A...

Make the bastards eat the contents! :D

Marco
07-06-2012, 17:04
Agree 100% Marco, our driver licensing laws need some serious readjustment. Hit 70 and there should be a mandatory re-newel procedure. Take a test to see if you are still competent behind the wheel and this should also include signing off by your GP. There should also be a proper eyesight test incorporated in this too. Fail any part of this procedure and sorry no licence renewal.

My Dad got to 79 before I stopped him driving and insisted he get rid of the car and used to be an RAF pilot. He took me to Ireland and drove straight trough a red light light without even knowing it was there and nearly took someone out on a roundabout too. I took the wheel for the remainder of our holiday and not long after getting back I made sure he got shot of the car. Nobody should be able to continue driving until they are either incapable of doing so or if they die.

A driving licence is a privilege not a right.

Damned right, mate!!!

You wouldn't believe how tough I'd get on driving laws, if I were making the rules... Such as, restricting the amount of cars per household. It's ridiculous that every member of a family must have their own car. There are too many bloody cars on the road, so something radical must be done to tackle the problem.

No learner drivers allowed on busy main roads, during the rush hour. The same also applies to all argicultural vehicles, such as tractors, etc.

4X4s? PROVE that you actually NEED one, in the first place, before you're actually allowed to own one!!

If you run out of petrol, and break down in an area, where it subsequently causes huge traffic chaos, then you get a 6-month ban and a heavy fine. That'll teach you to make sure the tank's filled up before starting a journey!

There is NO excuse whatsoever for running out of petrol. The same applies to breakdowns, due to vehicles being driven on roads, not having been mechanically maintained or serviced for years.

And that's just for starters......

Marco.

Marco
07-06-2012, 17:11
Make the bastards eat the contents! :D

Trust me, it it'd happened to me, I'd have followed them home and done exactly that!! Filthy fuckers! :steam:

I also similarly detest 'fly tippers'...

If I caught some vermin doing it, I'd follow them home (if they were local), and then once I knew where they lived, I'd go back and pick up the rubbish that they dumped illegally, then return to where they lived, and dump all the shit on their fucking lawn!!

Marco.

The Grand Wazoo
07-06-2012, 17:21
That's kind of what I did do once!
I found a huge pile of stuff dumped in the entrance to a woodland I was managing & went through it to find out where it came from. I got names, an address and even an old front door with the house number still on it to confirm the address.
I took the evidence to the police & they said they'd look into it.
I got a call the next day & the police said that the householder had said that, yes the stuff did belong to him, but he didn't put it there. Apparently the rozzers couldn't do anything more than that.
So I got two of my staff to put it all on a tractor/trailer & we returned it to its rightful owner.

Marco
07-06-2012, 17:25
Haha - nice one, Chris. If more folk did that, the fuckers would think twice before dumping their shite in the first place!! I'd also fine their asses - and I mean a PROPER fine, guaranteed to impact severely on their lives, not simply a token gesture.

Fly-tipping is sheer and utter inexcusable laziness...!!

Marco.

The Grand Wazoo
07-06-2012, 17:28
On another occasion we found 2.5 tonnes of (potato sack sized) bags of frozen, diced swede and onion!!!

Effem
07-06-2012, 19:54
I want to put into Room 101 . . . . . . tractors.

Not all tractors mind, just the ones in particular that bumble along an A class trunk road at 20mph during the rush hours. Oh yes, plus the ones that deposit several tonnes of wet sticky mud and manure all over the road on the very same day I have spend hours washing and polishing the car :steam:

Exclude all tractors that have the good sense to use public roads between 2.00am and 4.00am and having their wheels cleaned before doing so.

Thank you.

Marco
07-06-2012, 19:58
Ha - Frank, did you not read my earlier post, #116:


No learner drivers allowed on busy main roads, during the rush hour. The same also applies to all argicultural vehicles, such as tractors, etc.


I'm wiv ya, brovva! ;)

What about truckers who insist on overtaking another truck, doing two miles an hour more than that is, going up a long hill on a motorway, and subsequently taking ten minutes to complete the overtaking manoeuvre, whilst in the meantime, creating a huge queue of traffic behind them, in the outside lane?

What would you do with those ignorant fuckers??

Marco.

Effem
07-06-2012, 20:32
Ha - Frank, did you not read my earlier post, #116:

Marco.

Musta missed it :ner:

Was going to mention the wearing of flat caps in cars but someone touched on that one earlier methinks :eyebrows:

Marco
07-06-2012, 21:11
Yup, so whadda we do about those trucker fuckers? :eyebrows:

Marco.

Dominic Harper
07-06-2012, 22:37
Wive's that decides they want to chat when you put your headpones on, or more to the point thhink your a master at lip reading

Oh Yeah! Well what about husbands that only want to talk to you about stupid pointless things because they can't be bothered. I was having a conversation today with Dom about a wood louse that was murdered in his eyes by one of cats in the night. The thing was dead on the carpet, and he gave me a running commentary on the family life of this wood louse and how it could have got lost and it's family maybe missing it, the bloody thing was dead. What did he want me to do, give it a church service and say prayer:lol:. A frigging wood louse for crying out loud.

Now if I mentioned for the umpteenth time that we need a new fridge and cooker, he is far to busy to talk to me about it and needs to crack on. Just typical.

Natalie;)

Rare Bird
07-06-2012, 22:45
Woodlice are fantastic creatures, did you know a woodlouse can curl up into a perfect ball shape :interesting:

The Grand Wazoo
07-06-2012, 22:49
...........and they also make an excellent and nutritious addition to muesli.

The Grand Wazoo
07-06-2012, 23:18
Earwigs for Weetabix mate.

Rare Bird
07-06-2012, 23:19
yum yum

synsei
08-06-2012, 02:56
My landlord coz he's a useless lump of dung... (I could explain but it would involve taking a couple of walls out and perhaps the floor. Oh, and the ceiling if I had one) :steam:

Dominic Harper
08-06-2012, 06:28
Woodlice are fantastic creatures, did you know a woodlouse can curl up into a perfect ball shape :interesting:

No I didn't, but I can tell some men get more pleasure talking about wood lice than anything else and that goes for you to Grandwazoo (Chris) :lol::lol:.

Natalie;)

synsei
08-06-2012, 06:30
We used to call them Pea Bugs when I was at primary school and they were excellent for playing finger footie with... :lol:

Dominic Harper
08-06-2012, 06:33
My landlord coz he's a useless lump of dung... (I could explain but it would involve taking a couple of walls out and perhaps the floor. Oh, and the ceiling if I had one) :steam:

I can completely empathise with you, because this is one of the reasons we have wood lice because the house is so bloody damp. There is an endless list full of issues with our property, but the landlord won't do a thing to put things right. So I would like all crappy landlords to go in room 101. However, Dom and I do have ceilings, so we mustn't complain :lol::lol:. Although, your place sounds a little dangerous. I thought that if living conditions are below a certain par then the landlord has duty of care to his tenants and you can withhold your rent? I might be wrong. Hope things get sorted out for you.

Natalie;)

synsei
08-06-2012, 06:51
I can completely empathise with you, because this is one of the reasons we have wood lice because the house is so bloody damp. There is an endless list full of issues with our property, but the landlord won't do a thing to put things right. So I would like all crappy landlords to go in room 101. However, Dom and I do have ceilings, so we mustn't complain :lol::lol:. Although, your place sounds a little dangerous. I thought that if living conditions are below a certain par then the landlord has duty of care to his tenants and you can withhold your rent? I might be wrong. Hope things get sorted out for you.

Natalie;)

It's all in hand Nat. Got those nice guys in cheap suits with the nasal twang to their vocals coming over from Environmental Health on Monday. He's been told we have his rent, but ee ain't gittin' it 'til it's fixed, see? :lol:

Canetoad
08-06-2012, 07:24
Thought I'd add one of my pet hates. I go walking round the area to get some exercise and am amazed at the amount of dogshit everywhere! This really bugs me and I've even had a go at a few people who don't bother to pick up.

What REALLY annoys me is when I see a bag of dogshit on the side of the path. They pick it up and then dump the bag! Does my head in! :mental:

Marco
08-06-2012, 08:00
When you see them do it, pick the bag up and shove it in their mouth - try that! ;)

Marco.

Rare Bird
08-06-2012, 09:03
Thought I'd add one of my pet hates. I go walking round the area to get some exercise and am amazed at the amount of dogshit everywhere! This really bugs me and I've even had a go at a few people who don't bother to pick up.

What REALLY annoys me is when I see a bag of dogshit on the side of the path. They pick it up and then dump the bag! Does my head in! :mental:

Yeh me too, we often go walkies down the dams, it amazes me to see little bags of shyte hanging from bushes like some kinda Christmas tree decorations :(

Marco
08-06-2012, 09:04
OMG, why the fuck do they feel the need to hang it up on a tree??? :eek: :mental:

Marco.

synsei
08-06-2012, 12:54
OMG, why the fuck do they feel the need to hang it up on a tree??? :eek: :mental:

Marco.

Strange fruit... :scratch:

The Grand Wazoo
08-06-2012, 23:34
I don't necessarily approve & as a dog owner I most certainly don't do it, but maybe I can explain.
Imagine yourself, out for a walk with Fido, your faithful fluffy & friendly hound. He needs a dump & takes one. You do the scoopy scoop into a bag. You plan to be walking on for a good bit more & he maybe needs another one. Rather than dragging that one round with you for the next hour or so, & maybe having to struggle with an overenthusiastic dog pulling at the lead while you're holding one bag & trying to scoop up his second little present, you put it somewhere where you can grab it on your way past back to the car.

I know that's what some folks do.
And I think that some lazy scumbags do that with absolutely no intention of collecting it on the way back. They'll only pick it up in the first place if they think someone can see the dog's taken a dump. If no-one sees, then they walk on.

The Grand Wazoo
08-06-2012, 23:39
Anyway, back to bad driving habits & the like. What about people who overtake in appropriate places?
This is a far better fate for them than Room 101!!!!

http://www.fridayoffcuts.com/pix/roadrage.jpg



The Moral?

If you can't ride with the big boys, then don't saddle up!

synsei
08-06-2012, 23:47
"DAS JUMBO" :laugh:

Marco
09-06-2012, 07:29
I don't necessarily approve & as a dog owner I most certainly don't do it, but maybe I can explain.
Imagine yourself, out for a walk with Fido, your faithful fluffy & friendly hound. He needs a dump & takes one. You do the scoopy scoop into a bag. You plan to be walking on for a good bit more & he maybe needs another one. Rather than dragging that one round with you for the next hour or so, & maybe having to struggle with an overenthusiastic dog pulling at the lead while you're holding one bag & trying to scoop up his second little present, you put it somewhere where you can grab it on your way past back to the car.

I know that's what some folks do.
And I think that some lazy scumbags do that with absolutely no intention of collecting it on the way back. They'll only pick it up in the first place if they think someone can see the dog's taken a dump. If no-one sees, then they walk on.

Yes, that kind of makes sense, I guess! I thought that it might have been some weird 'trophy' contest... As in: 'look how big a dump my doggy's done, compared to that sorry effort of yours!'

Anyway, I think I'll stick with cats ;)

Marco.

P.S Love the elephant thing!

snuffbox
09-06-2012, 07:31
People that move to the countryside then moan about cocks crowing,church bells ringing noisy dirty tractors.the countryside is a factory that produces food you fuckwits,get over it or move.
Bad manners,please and thank you costs nothing but is worth so much.
Arseholes that have no idea how a pedestrian crossing works.
Your supposed to stop and wait for the traffic to stop then cross,not walk straight out.Idiot.
Oh and after I've stopped a little acknowledgement would be nice.

synsei
09-06-2012, 09:03
As a former cyclist (back injury stopped play) I always abided by the Highway Code. Cyclists who don't should be lined up against the wall in their Lycra Leotards and shot (list of offences below)

Ignoring red lights/pedestrian crossings
Whizzing out of T junctions without looking when just feet away from them in a car
Resting their elbows on the roof of the car whilst stationary at traffic lights
Hurling profanity at drivers when performing the above

:steam:

Tim
09-06-2012, 10:31
Don't piss off the elephants...... brilliant Chris :)

snuffbox
09-06-2012, 14:00
Lycra
I do not want to look at your skinny Lycra clad arse as you weave your bike through the traffic,especially when it's so tight it's almost transparent,

Dominic Harper
09-06-2012, 14:45
Lycra
I do not want to look at your skinny Lycra clad arse as you weave your bike through the traffic,especially when it's so tight it's almost transparent,

I bet you wouldn't mind if it was a female cyclist with a good body :lol::lol:

Natalie;)

Marco
09-06-2012, 14:50
No, no, he likes boys - just ones with a nice plump arse! :eyebrows: :D

;)

Marco.

Rare Bird
09-06-2012, 20:56
I could fill three pages of '101's just out of todays expedition!

Tim
09-06-2012, 21:01
I could fill three pages of '101's just out of todays expedition!
:lol:

snuffbox
09-06-2012, 22:12
No, no, he likes boys - just ones with a nice plump arse! :eyebrows: :D

;)

Marco.
Fuckoff twateee.:eek:

Funnilee enough I've just come back from an evening at the theatre and while walking to cross Charing Cross Road some geezer whizzed past on a bi,e stark bollock naked,I kid you not.:stalks:
Skinny little bastard too.
My mrs being short missed him.

Marco
09-06-2012, 23:40
Fuckoff twateee.:eek:

Funnilee enough I've just come back from an evening at the theatre and while walking to cross Charing Cross Road some geezer whizzed past on a bi,e stark bollock naked,I kid you not.:stalks:
Skinny little bastard too.
My mrs being short missed him.

It's certainly an eventful area you live in! :lolsign:

Marco.

MCRU
13-07-2012, 22:49
People who phone me for advice about someone elses product

People who phone round for a dutch auction discount

People who buy stuff from my ebay shop and don't read the T & C's

People who drive cars with blacked out windows

My so called gardner who has not turned up for 6 weeks

Albanians in the tesco car park who charge £5 to lick your car and call it a wash

50 mph motorway speed limits with speed cameras every 1/2 mile

sat navs on mobile phones , bring back the tom tom

apple for ruining music quality

white in ear headphones

Marco
13-07-2012, 23:00
People who buy stuff from my ebay shop and don't read the T & C's


With you there, dude. I could say the same about some folk who join here and 'cunningly bypass' the Welcome area! :doh:

Can they not read?? :rolleyes:


My so called gardner who has not turned up for 6 weeks


Lazy fucker... Do it yerself! You've only got a 'postage stamp' to look after, anyway... ;)


Albanians in the tesco car park who charge £5 to lick your car and call it a wash


Watch out for the ones who offer to 'wax' it, and see what kind of 'liquid' they use for the job! :eyebrows:


sat navs on mobile phones , bring back the tom tom


Bring back maps and folk who can read and think for themselves!!


apple for ruining music quality

white in ear headphones

Wouldn't know, as I wouldn't dream of using such shite :ner:

Marco.

Gmanuk101
16-07-2012, 11:57
1) people who rant on about "doo gooders" whatever that means
2) lists

snuffbox
16-07-2012, 15:37
Customers that piss me off because I put there gardening bill up a couple of quid despite it staying the same for over ten years.
Still the fact I never turned up to do his poxy garden and despite numerous pleading phone messages and texts should teach the tosser.

northwest
16-07-2012, 15:53
white in ear headphones



Wouldn't know, as I wouldn't dream of using such shite :ner:
Marco.


I think that is his point Marco, Dave doesn't use them either, nor do I - but I do get to share their "sonic abilities" with the tosser who IS wearing them on the commute!

Worst fekin 'invention' of the 20th Century. pure shite. People say Steve Jobs did a great deal of good - the white apple headphones balance it all out and thus he becomes a neutral.

chelsea
16-07-2012, 16:15
Parking metres.
Only poxy machines that don't give change.

Macca
17-07-2012, 07:58
People who wander around the supermarket like it was Disneyland

Marco
17-07-2012, 09:35
How do people wander round in Disneyland? I've never been.

Marco.

prestonchipfryer
17-07-2012, 10:02
How do people wander round in Disneyland? I've never been.

Marco.

Disney! Fecking rip-off. $3 for a bottle of water, expensive 'fat (fast) food'!

Macca
17-07-2012, 12:12
How do people wander round in Disneyland? I've never been.

Marco.

Neither have I, thankfully, but I should imagine they wander around in slack-jawed amazement.

Puffin
17-07-2012, 12:27
How much will a sandwich be in the Olympic Park?!!! Not allowed to bring any food and drink in with you. Good for families!

The security guards are under orders to confiscate any food deemed to be "excessive". "Excessive" would be a local family bringing in a cool-box of their home-cooked food. (The Guardian)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/blog/2012/may/11/olympic-food-prices-hard-to-swallow

Marco
18-07-2012, 11:14
Neither have I, thankfully, but I should imagine they wander around in slack-jawed amazement.

Only if you're a kid, have kids of your own, or are a very easily amused adult... Personally, other than on an all-inclusive package beach holiday to Benidorm, I couldn't think of anywhere else I'd rather not be!!

Marco.

Marco
18-07-2012, 11:18
How much will a sandwich be in the Olympic Park?!!! Not allowed to bring any food and drink in with you. Good for families!

The security guards are under orders to confiscate any food deemed to be "excessive". "Excessive" would be a local family bringing in a cool-box of their home-cooked food. (The Guardian)


Again, I'll be avoiding this nonsense like the plague. Huge crowds and queues + inflated prices and mass 'confusion' = fucking nighmare (just like Disneyland)! :nono:

If there's anything specific I want to see, Olympic-wise, I'll watch it on TV, in the peace and comfort of my own home, thank you very much!!

Marco.

northwest
18-07-2012, 11:29
How much will a sandwich be in the Olympic Park?!!! Not allowed to bring any food and drink in with you. Good for families!


A small tin of Coke is £4 - or - the Meal Deal - Tin of Coke and packet of crisps - that'll be £7 sir!

Marco
18-07-2012, 15:35
Aye, if you're an idiot!! :doh:

Marco.

synsei
18-07-2012, 17:56
I shall be avoiding anything to do with the Olympics on principle. I've nothing against the athletes but I find the amount of money slushing around in the Olympic 'pool' these days to be obscene. I don't see why so many new facilities need to be built to hold the games, most if not all major cities these days possess the obvious facilities such as major stadiums, leaving perhaps a small number of specialist facilities needing to be constructed. As for the sponsors, don't get me started. The original ethos for the games was misplaced many years ago :rolleyes:

Rare Bird
21-07-2012, 22:39
T*ats that make out to be your friend which are more than the reverse ;)

bogle111
22-07-2012, 00:17
Gentlemen, are we talking about the Coca Cola/McDonalds Games that the UK is funding?

Personally, IMO the lot of 'em should be for the high jump - supersized!!

Best thing to do for a drink there is fein a feint next to a St John Ambulance person and state that you may be dehydrated.