View Full Version : Answer the last question, ask a new one...
This is a silly thread in which the next person to post has to answer the question posed by the last contributor and ask one of their own.
More tea vicar?
prestonchipfryer
05-06-2012, 07:13
''Yes please''. ''Would you mind taking a cup of tea over to Mrs.Smith in the vegetable section?''
As a matter of fact, I would. She smells like a halibut.
Do you measure it in cm or inches?
In inches, as it always seems naughtier. Shall I wave it around wildly like a conductor's baton, or just tuck it neatly into my sock?
Marco.
prestonchipfryer
05-06-2012, 08:39
In inches? You should try centimetres, it always sounds more that way. And I wrap mine round my knee, the only trouble is there is a wart where it bides and rubs. Is there any cream to treat it?
Yes, Zam-buk applied with cheese grater.
Where can I buy a guttersnipe?
prestonchipfryer
05-06-2012, 08:45
Surely that will be painful. Try the local housing estate, it's full of toe-rags and brats. How many do you need?
Two and a half.
Can I get a witness?
bogle111
05-06-2012, 09:05
As long as you are not Marvin Gaye. Has there been a shooting?
prestonchipfryer
05-06-2012, 09:10
Only my load? Wanna have a go yourself.
No thanks, i've just had a manicure.
They said I had to go to rehab!
prestonchipfryer
05-06-2012, 09:45
Did you say no, no, no?
Is it because you're shy?
Only when disrobed.
But can you see how proud I am now?
prestonchipfryer
05-06-2012, 10:00
Yes, it's a big one alright.
Do you play with it often?
bogle111
05-06-2012, 10:08
As often as possible when the sun shines, which is rarely ever here.
Do you have any other hobbies?
Yes, I have a penchant for collecting (vintage) Indonesian paper-clips. Do you eat carrots often?
Marco.
bogle111
05-06-2012, 11:10
Yes, I eat carrots at least bi-weekly. But please, will you tell me more of these Indonesian paper clips and how musically adept they are?
Le trombone monsieur.
Can you eat thoughts?
Le trombone monsieur.
Can you eat thoughts?
I had a thought earlier, it kept repeating on me.
Is this a rhetorical question?
bogle111
05-06-2012, 12:53
No, generally they just fart around.
Now, where did my pen go?
prestonchipfryer
05-06-2012, 13:09
It's in your breast pocket. Do you ever think about Grace Jones?
She's my Jamaican girl don't cha know.
Are inner-tubes in a tube?
bogle111
05-06-2012, 13:22
Only when in a horror movie context. That 1100 you have there takes me back, but would hope it propels you forward?
prestonchipfryer
05-06-2012, 13:26
Forwards? Why I am unable, sometimes, to stop! Why are you winking at me?
Because I am the "Winky Wanky Bird" - I wink when I wank.
What makes you so special?
Well, I have an enormously large cock, but much like my charity work, I don't really like to talk about it.
Tell me, though, do you use a lot of tissues?
Marco.
prestonchipfryer
05-06-2012, 14:57
Well, if I 'save' it up for a couple of weeks I can use the whole box to mop it up. Have you seen the size of Mr. Renwicks' onions this year?
Yes, and he conceals them so beautifully, too. Did you pinch those melons you were admiring?
Marco.
bogle111
05-06-2012, 15:14
Not only wanted to pinch them, wanted to bury my teeth in them, they were so juicy and My Bowl Runneth Over, so to speak. What is your forecast for a good crop this winter?
It will be a poor crop. The ground needs fertilizing.
Do you think a pube that's stuck in my throat, Doctor, or is it cancer?
Sorry, your question doesn't make sense. Perhaps because this is Tuesday?
Marco.
Covenant
05-06-2012, 15:25
It's a giraffe's pube. What have you been up to?
Today, I have been polishing my collection of (vintage) Indonesian paper-clips. Have you been rather more naughty?
Marco.
prestonchipfryer
05-06-2012, 16:01
Oooooh, why do you ask if I've been a naughty, naughty boy. I got caught with my hand down the au-pairs' knickers. Have you any remedies for removing the fishy smell from my fingers?
No. Savour the smell, as it will be your last!
Did Mr Bond come from Basildon?
He did. Unfortunately, however, he still doesn't know one end of a clitoris from another. Nancy says she much preferred Simon's bedside manner.
Did the Gentleman's Relish do the trick, btw?
Marco.
Oh Yesss! Magnifique.
Psss...what is Gentlemans Relish?
A gentlemen's relish... why, it's cream for his knob.
Does a clitoris really have two ends?
Yes. Have you seen the film Deep Throat
What is a Lovelace?
Psss...what is Gentlemans Relish?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gentleman's_Relish
I'm fond of rubbing it on my balls, rather forcefully, whilst wearing my favourite woollen mittens, but I'm not entirely sure why... I hear that Wilma's doing a special this week on hand-shandies, at the Horse and Jockey?
Marco.
Wonderful.
I've got Jock Itch
Does a clitoris really have two ends?
It depends on how long your tongue is! My, is that the time already??
Marco.
bogle111
05-06-2012, 17:07
Wonderful.
I've got Jock Itch
Is that a question, statement or another irritation? or did you leave off the mark.
Tut tut shoody Jocks!
bogle111
05-06-2012, 17:11
It depends on how long your tongue is! My, is that the time already??
Marco.
Already my boy. Are you sure it is time to leave, who knows what surprises await?
Yes, I believe that there is some ice-cream and jelly for afters. Are you still prone to flatulence?
Marco.
I'm a regular fruity tooter.
Do your balls hang low, can you swing them to and fro?
anthonyTD
05-06-2012, 17:35
I'm a regular fruity tooter.
Do your balls hang low, can you swing them to and fro?
Yes,
What is the meaning of all this ?
A...
Utter purile nonsense!
How do you "follow through"?
Yes,
What is the meaning of all this ?
Well, I guess because it's Tuesday. Were those Mimi evening slippers a good fit?
Marco.
bogle111
05-06-2012, 18:09
As a jock strap they are a good fit. Are you sure they are for your feet?
Not necessarily. It depends on how inventive one is. Was Sibbald as good value as ever at the convention yesterday?
Marco.
prestonchipfryer
05-06-2012, 19:02
Yes, excellent value as always. Does your partner slurp whilst giving a blow-job?
No. Her tongue was cut out before she took to the ducking stool.
Has anyone seen Felatio Nelson?
prestonchipfryer
05-06-2012, 19:13
That cocky bastard, no. Have you visited the local brothel today?
Sadly, I couldn't, as it's been turned into a call centre for the Samaritans. However, I believe that for £3.50 and a bag of Smarties, Rhonda (the receptionist) puts on an exhibition with a Shetland pony.
Would you like her number?
Marco.
Nah, you're alright guvnor.
How many turns does it take to start a horse?
How many turns depends on the strength you possess, and how stiff the horse's starting handle is.
Is anyone here hung like a hoover?
prestonchipfryer
06-06-2012, 05:59
As some may already know my nickname is Donkey. Has anybody seen Claudette naked?
What that ladyboy!
Can you muffin a mule?
I've buttered muffins whilst wearing mules. Very comfortable, thank you.
How can I mop the sweat from my scrotum without anyone noticing?
Worry not. Celebrate your sweatiness, by mopping up the leakage with your shirt sleeve, holding it up, and shouting proudly: "sniff that!"
Will you be having a shower later, or simply allowing the moisture to marinate?
Marco.
prestonchipfryer
06-06-2012, 09:04
Marination for at least 24 hours, then the aroma of my undergarments is like a putrefying dead cat. Do you know of a cream for an itchy ring-piece?
No. Suffer for your art!
Do you open your car door to let the clutch out?
Sir, I ride a moped! No back-seat shenanigans for me.
Who fancies a spit roast?
prestonchipfryer
06-06-2012, 12:12
Crackling, can't beat it, luverly. Do you know how many sheep Farmer Palmer has?
Farmer Palmer is a euphemism for "Lenny the Pimp" who does indeed have lots of "sheep". The great thing is you don't need to wear wellies to shag 'em:lol:
Was Humpty pushed?
No, he was dumped by Mumpty. Did you violate poor Sooty?
Marco.
The Grand Wazoo
06-06-2012, 23:25
Not exactly violate, more like 'initiate'. Surely this thread isn't the end of Three Words Daily?
prestonchipfryer
07-06-2012, 06:45
It does allow one to use more (naughty) words. Have you seen Paddy today?
Yes, I saw him earlier going down the High Street in his canoe. Are the seagulls arriving at 3 o'clock?
Marco.
The Grand Wazoo
07-06-2012, 07:20
No, they've been delayed because of a derailment on the line between Newbury and Barking. Tell me again, why they were bringing the bag of belly button fluff with them?
It was 'cos the chef wanted it to sprinkle on top of his Bouillabaisse. I do hope that they got the organic variety, I asked for?
Marco.
The Grand Wazoo
07-06-2012, 07:32
Of course it was, I specifically ordered fluff from the belly buttons of Nicaraguan millionairesses who only wear dresses made from sustainably grown, organic cotton. Do you think cheffy will appreciate how difficult it was to find those little bundles of fluffy nutritious deliciousness?
Absolutely, providing it makes a nice golden crust. He's considering requesting the delivery of some wombat's toenails, to add some texture to the dish, but was worried that the idea might be a little too obvious?
Marco.
bogle111
07-06-2012, 08:22
No, not obvious to the majority, however they are likely to go curly if cooked too fast. Speaking of Curly, has anyone seen his double decker Dinky collection?
No. He was circumcised in his 60's so he donated his collection to "da hood".
Can you actually "go fuck yourself"?
prestonchipfryer
07-06-2012, 14:12
Only if you are extremely flexible. Has anybody here shagged a ghost?
Yes. I was later informed that it was Demi Moore.....delicious.
Do you suffer from dishonourable discharge?
prestonchipfryer
07-06-2012, 17:02
No, but I can shoot with deadly accuracy. Where is the nearest place to buy condoms?
At 'Condoms R Us', in between Charlie's Chippy and 'Doreen's Dogs' (the local knocking shop).
How do you normally dispose of your ear wax?
Marco.
Covenant
07-06-2012, 18:02
I have an arrangement with the local fish and chip shop. Have you seen my banana?
WOStantonCS100
07-06-2012, 18:02
No, but, the neighbor's wife has seen it and peeled it, so I've heard. If I grab me wife's jubblies, will she get mad or make a night of it?
It'd depend on whether or not you were wearing your fireman's uniform. You know that makes her hot. Can you still squeeze into her wedding dress, like you used to?
Marco.
Squeeze into?! Don't forget that I was the girl from Clapham and yes it did happen.
Have you ever smelt fear?
You mean smelled? Yes, it reminds me of toasted raisins, but with a hint of muscat. Have you ever had rare forms of African funghi growing in between your toes?
Marco.
Yes, it gets nibbled nightly by the chutney ferret that shares my bed.
Are there really people inside the television?
(Smelled - you're absolutely right. I am patiently waiting for my corporal punishment:eyebrows:)
realysm42
07-06-2012, 19:09
Sometimes I hear voices coming from mine, so I'm guessing yes.
Anyone got a fag?
Tell that to an American! This is serious: should I have a brandy or an armagnac, to wash down my filet mignon?
Marco.
No, try a fillet O' fish the tangy liquid is a real aphrodisiac.
Can you tell the time of services at the church of the poisoned mind please.
realysm42
07-06-2012, 19:38
Quarter past inasnity.
How's your day been?
Day, Ba day ba wadladie day,......(sing along)
Are cheese footballs really made of sick?
Nope, they're made from the frothy residue, found under your foreskin.
Are Bloody Marys a product of domestic violence?
Marco.
No, they are normally hung on the line during rag week.
Would sir please step out of the car.
bogle111
07-06-2012, 23:43
No I wouldn't!
Now who's pissed?
Me.
Do you have a thieving coat?
The Grand Wazoo
08-06-2012, 06:25
Yes.
No?
It depends on what the seagulls do.
Are you expecting a delivery of merchandise today?
Marco.
Yes, the milkman came with cream.
Do you like ring pulls?
prestonchipfryer
08-06-2012, 18:17
I prefer ring-pieces, so much more interesting. Have you seen my wife's new toy?
Quite how she manages to use these things and hold down a full time job, beggars belief really.
May contain nuts?
bogle111
08-06-2012, 20:47
Probably, but the screwy bits have bolted.
Wouldn't you prefer to use glue?
When we thought our neighbour was dead we tried gluing the lid down on the coffin, but he was able to push it back up as it didn't dry quickly enough. In the end we had to resort to using a nail gun. I think some of them were a bit off target......
I didn't do that - did I?
bogle111
08-06-2012, 21:25
Someone must have. Is it wise to tarvet your neighbour?
Yes, he was a horologist. I hate neighbourhood watchers.
Have you got the time on yer cock?
No, only a princely looking gentleman named Albert
Is fracking all it's cracked up to be?
prestonchipfryer
09-06-2012, 09:06
It depends who you are going to frack with; my next door neighbour is interested, could you possibly oblige her?
bogle111
09-06-2012, 10:11
I could at a push, though feel that Mail Order would be a better and safer way to go. I cannot see how fracking would help in her condition, unless one is asking for a "bail out"?
I could get one of my balls out?
Can you make a lampshade out of a scrotum?
bogle111
09-06-2012, 16:19
I hear it has been done, but don't fancy the reverse procedure. Bit like the "chicken and egg" conundrum, where you can't put a chicken back into an egg?
Bcause it's against the law!
Can you bugger Bognor?
bogle111
09-06-2012, 18:06
Bognor is already bu@@ered.
I meant to and hope you don't mind me asking, but does the beard come with the hat as a TFO cause it looks very draconian and likely to scare evil old ladies?
I am sorry, but I am very old fashioned. The only thing I can come up with for TFO is "two fingered orifice". Quite what that has to do with my marvelous beard and stovepipe hat I really shudder to think. As for scaring evil old ladies, it is my life's work to scare the shit out of ladies who live only for their cats!!
Do you take laudanum with your tea?
bogle111
09-06-2012, 19:19
Only when the wife is accompanying me, and of course I always do the pouring. Is it because I too am old fashioned, because I am a bit of a Sherlock Holmes, TFO, or because I am suspicious?
Don't trust anyone is my motto!
Are you a spy?
Yesh, check out the spy-hole I drilled into your toilet wall! Expect an interesting clip of you wearing your mum's dress, sat on the pan, doing a jobby, to be featured on YouTube later! :eyebrows:
Do you 'dress' to the left or the right?
Marco.
I depends on how snug the trousers are...
How do Do It All do it?
They don't - they went bankrupt!::eek:
Do you suffer from Post Coital Depression?
bogle111
10-06-2012, 19:56
You mean the post Coastal Depression in the 1930's!
Would you rather ride with Bonnie or Clyde?
Because you are beige.
Do phone lines cause STD's?
Only if you insert them incorrectly.
Did it hurt?
Yesh, you forced it into my botty, before I was ready! I can smell burning duck-butter, can you?
Marco.
prestonchipfryer
12-06-2012, 05:56
Yes, I like it when it's freshly churned like that! How's your dingleberry after the op?
WOStantonCS100
12-06-2012, 07:21
Aside from the flaming irritation, pretty good, actually. Fancy a go at spreading the jelly?
prestonchipfryer
12-06-2012, 10:30
Yes, okay - but don't rub too hard. Have you cleaned yourself properly?
Yes, I took advantage of an offer by an electronics company and purchased a tub of Smeg-O-Preen, the old todger cam up a treat. Trouble is it won't go down now.
Can you remove the bone from a willy?
bogle111
13-06-2012, 20:24
Yes, but then it becomes a "wally". Don't you like chicken on the bone?
Only Kentucky Tired Chicken.
Did you hear about the two queer ghosts, they tried to put the willy's up each other.
prestonchipfryer
14-06-2012, 06:26
Oooooh, oooooh. Have you had your bun and tea from Mrs. Brown in the tea tent?
bogle111
14-06-2012, 07:37
Yes, thank you, which I enjoyed with relish though I do wish Mrs Brown would stop calling me Luvey. Did I see you behind the Beer Tent with Shiela Blige?
Yes, she was blowing the froth off of my Bratwurst. Tell me, would you rather have a bottle in front of you, or a frontal lobotomy?
Marco.
Neither.
Would you prefer a shit or a haircut?
prestonchipfryer
14-06-2012, 15:27
Yes, nothing like a really good turn-out. Do you still pick your nose?
The Grand Wazoo
14-06-2012, 16:18
No, I picked beautiful Roman one some time ago & I'm very happy with it, thanks.
Why? Have you got some you'd like to give away?
Colonel Bogey is the man to contact.
Does anyone know Master Bates?
prestonchipfryer
14-06-2012, 18:50
Yes, he's a wanker. How far is it to Tipperary?
Too far to make any sense of.
How High is a Chinaman?
Depends on his dealers stash.
Why is it when you burp you say pardon,but when you fart,you laugh?
That's because you just averted the follow through:eek:
Would you hold my hand please.
prestonchipfryer
15-06-2012, 18:49
Only if you tongue me. Have you seen my operation scar?
Yes, it looks like a camel toe.
Can I have one of your "special" cuddles please.
Yesh, but only if you slip your hand underneath my petticoat and fiddle with little Freddie.
Would you help spray-tan my stretch marks?
Marco.
Yes, but dilute Bisto will clog my nozzle dear.
Have you always had small tits and a big bum?
Yes, I use the same plastic surgeon as your wife. Does my bum look big in these rubber pants?
Marco.
prestonchipfryer
18-06-2012, 05:46
Ooooh yes, and I'd love to roger it! Is your wanking hand okay since the accident?
Fantastic. Now that my thumb has been placed where my index finger used to be, I hold twinky like a cigarette and it's a real revelation!
Did you ever get your head out of your arse?
prestonchipfryer
18-06-2012, 07:14
The doctor says it will come out when it's ready. Are still shagging the Parsons daughter?
No, it turned out that she was a rug-muncher, and so preferred fur-burgers to saveloys. Apparently, Mr Singh has opened up a new Adult Shop in Weymouth. Have you been?
Marco.
prestonchipfryer
18-06-2012, 11:04
Have I been? Why, of course; there are some special offers on blow-ups, you know, the ones with the realistic orifices. Did you know that most women prefer thick sausages instead of chipolatas?
Mine likes skinless:eek:
Why do you smell of onions?
prestonchipfryer
18-06-2012, 15:20
Because I have one up my bum to keep the bum-doctor at bay. When did you last wash?
I think it was '74, after watching an advert on TV for Imperial Leather.
What do you do with your armpit sweat?
Marco.
I don't sweat anymore from my armpits as I too have not washed since '74, the sweat glands became clogged by the early 80s. Difficulty I have now is that I sweat from my lachrymal glands. It is impossible to get down the high street as I am constantly stopped by wellwishers asking why I am so sad. However, as soon as they get near me they recoil in horror at the stench.
Do you piss blood?
WOStantonCS100
18-06-2012, 23:16
Spit nails too; but, only at enemies of the state found guilty of engaging in the shalingalamadoochi. What gauge butt floss is best?
A nice bit of 4x2.
What is going on with your hair?!
Looking at your avatar, I was going to ask the same question... The rejuventating cream has worked wonders, though!
Have you done anything yet about the calluses on your wanking hand?
Marco.
Yes, I have worn them away wanking!
Does your mother smell of elderberries?
Only when she's washed her foo-foo. Are you partial to a cheesy dip?
Marco.
Yes, it goes well with Dorritos.
Why is my hovercraft full of eels?
Dunno... Maybe you left the door open, like they once did on a certain ferry!
Why can I not buy wine gums in the Duty Free?
Marco.
You are underage!
Is it your round?
Yes, but I never kiss on the first date. Will you be having a wash later, or allowing the crust on your ball sack to develop a thicker layer?
Marco.
A bit thicker I think, nearly there!
Did you stitch those sequins to your ring-piece on purpose?
Yes, they complement the clinkers nicely.
Are you out on a tag?
I'm not allowed out...
Did you know your bum looks big in that?
I don't own a that?
Do you spit in children's ice-creams?
You don't want to know!
Is that the time?
prestonchipfryer
20-06-2012, 05:54
Yes, time to visit Claudette. She loves one in each hole, but it can be a bit messy. Why do you keep picking your nose?
My mum said that it would make me gay. I'm still waiting.....
Some say you look like Shrek?
righto gone for the Wayne Rooney look then,
I wonder if Coleen likes her back doors smashed in
She likes a couple of big balls in the back of her net. Have you ever banged a bitch on a bus?
Marco.
No, but I bussed a bitch load of bangers to the beach for the gay and lesbian sausage fest last year.
Can I get a grant to breed cockroaches?
Only if you own a Kebab shop,
do you know a cure for Grandads permanent stiffy
Yes, a trilby to top it off.
Do you jerk chicken?
Please forgive this interruption but the thought has just occurred to me what must non-native English speakers who do not understand our zany humour think of this thread if they came upon it inadvertently :scratch::eek: .
Right guys, carry on as before :) .
Dave.
So yes, you do.
Can you eat a whole one?
prestonchipfryer
21-06-2012, 07:10
No, when I tried to it made me puke over the cat. Why are you so awkward?
I know....tuh....clumsy is as clumsy does, what am I like.....ha hu ha huh.
Did you ever say sorry about that thing.....you know?
Raiding Betty's laundry basket and selling her skanky panties on the Internet... Yes, sorry about that. Would you like a share of the profits?
Marco.
Yes.
Do you believe in "Health and Efficiency"?
prestonchipfryer
21-06-2012, 17:08
Health yes, but I'm not very efficient. Do you still use your thingy, you know, when you're at it?
Oh yea, the Fisher Price record player, great relaxer.
How far can you pull it back?
As they say, it's a big drawback: an elephant's foreskin... Have you ever balanced a pickled onion on your bell-end?
Marco.
Well, not exactly. Kelly was eating her fish and chips with a pickled onion and she just couldn't wait.
Do you think I should eat more fresh flowers?
Yes. I'm told that if you eat sunflowers, it gives you a sunny disposition. What happens with crab apples?
Marco.
prestonchipfryer
23-06-2012, 13:42
Ah, this is a misnomer if ever there was one, crabs don't have apples, they have claws: and it's very painful, especially in the groin/pubes area. there is no known cure. Has your hand ever slipped when playing slap my porker?
last week actually, Auny Nelly wasn't amused.
speaking of porkers my wife has been on a diet and looks super fit, i can take the bag off her head. can you do the same yet?
prestonchipfryer
23-06-2012, 14:50
Unfortunately the old bag has had the bag surgically sewn on. Is your Aunty Nellie still very smelly?
Putrid. A cross between boiled sewage and rotten eggs.
Did you ever try her famed Latrine Quice Lorraine. She would always insist it was "Lattice"!
prestonchipfryer
26-06-2012, 13:33
Well I never tried the quiche but did have a go at Lorraine. Where is the off switch?
Daniel Quinn
26-06-2012, 14:44
answer removed
prestonchipfryer
26-06-2012, 14:54
Removed? Where?
Beside where she left her cellulite cream. Are you a leg or a tit man?
Marco.
I'm not fussy.
Is that the full length of it, or does it reach further?
Further!...what are you a pervert?!
What cup size are you?
Twelve.
Do you spit or swallow?
prestonchipfryer
27-06-2012, 06:56
Neither, gargling is more fun. Have you a wart on your knee where it bides and rubs?
The Grand Wazoo
27-06-2012, 07:09
I did, but I bit it off. There's quite a lot of blood - Have you got a bucket?
Hang on, and I'll lift it off of the mother-in-law's head... The stiff-tailed penguins are having a party later at Mungo's place. Will you be attending as usual?
Marco.
No, my furry front bottom is a bit hurty.
Is it an offence if I go out in daylight hours?
prestonchipfryer
27-06-2012, 14:07
Yes, get caught and you'll receive a smacked bot-bot. Do you belch when you fart?
No, but like the young man from Kent, my tool is exceedingly bent, so to cope with my trouble I thrust it in double and instead of coming... I went!
Can you reccommend ointment for my quidditch?
prestonchipfryer
29-06-2012, 07:05
Try squirrels-scrotum solution, available widely in outer Dorset. Are you meeting the big chief of the Onehunglow tribe tomorrow?
No, he's off to the doc's, getting a raisin removed, which was trapped underneath his foreskin. Troublesome things, those raisins!
Cedric asks if he should come at the usual time today, to trim your wife's hedge?
Marco.
Don't talk to me about Cedric! He did a Topiary Penis last time.
Do you think a tic or twitch is attractive to women?
Depends whether or not you're licking her out at the time... Shall I ask Cedric to sprinkle some dewdrops on her 'Friday Fancies'?
Marco.
Friday's fancies = Monday's washing.....bluurrghh
Have you tried Aunt Bessie yet?
prestonchipfryer
29-06-2012, 16:09
She is very slack and when wet it takes me ages to satisfy her. Can you wank with both hands?
Only if there's enough room in the phone box in town. Do you ever make cheese pâté from the solidified crust underneath your ball sack?
Marco.
ah yes and i served it with blue vein steak
is it still acceptable to bugger next doors cat
Yes, but then ask "why is he now called Pus in Bites"!
Did Tonto do it Pronto?
prestonchipfryer
29-06-2012, 18:43
No, he shagged all the broads in Toronto. Have you emptied your bowels today?
No. My stomach looks as distended as Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke.
Why do you always wear a false moustache and eyelashes?
The Grand Wazoo
15-07-2012, 06:21
ssssshhhhhhhhhhh! It's because I'm in disguise. I don't like to be seen in threads like this.
This one's dead now, right?
No, it was saved after a cunning plan by Dr Feelgood. Will the wallabies arrive before the cheese has finished?
Marco.
The Grand Wazoo
15-07-2012, 07:16
The cheese will be weeks.I haven't even milked the cats yet.
You do like Brie du Meeouw don't you?
its got to be from a tabby though
Wiggins likes it up West Street though, can you accomodate him ?
prestonchipfryer
15-07-2012, 17:53
Bring him into the bedroom, I will make sure he gets what he deserves. Have you asked Claudette to do it for you?
Nah, she's given up crocheting those fancy cock socks.
Why do you cry youself to sleep?
The Grand Wazoo
15-07-2012, 19:08
Because I can only count to 10 & there's bloody loads more sheep than that.
Do you think it would help if I counted fish instead?
It's all about scale really.....
Do you want a shit or a haircut?
I already have a shit haircut
Does nurse know you're out of bed again?
I left her in bed smoking - that's how they should be left.
Are you still taking my medication?
Half past six.
Mine goes up to 11
You must be talking centimetres.
Is it sensitive to temperature?
Only if Betty says so.
Have you ever dressed like a Crab?
prestonchipfryer
16-07-2012, 19:28
Yes, but I kept going sideways. Nowadays being lobsterish is more rewarding. How are your piles?
Dreadful. Got so painful recently I had a go at lancing them with a soldering iron. Solder just rolled off in balls.
I hear you do a good Saveloy and Crackling?
IMO regular contributors to this thread are certifiable on this evidence alone :lol: . Are any of you Trick Cyclists per chance?
(now on with the motley ;) )
prestonchipfryer
17-07-2012, 05:52
No, not tricks, but Edna can do some, we call her the office bike. Do you prefer monochrome?
No, Black and White.
Do you still dribble?
Yesh, but my Tena pants catch it all nicely. Do you still follow thru when you fart?
Marco.
prestonchipfryer
17-07-2012, 09:59
Do I? Yes, what a steaming mess too! Are you wearing frilly bell-bottoms?
No, but I have a frilly bell-end:eyebrows:
Have you ever been shouted at in the street reminding you of the Burmese diplomat and the third Secretary-General of the United Nations? Yesterday I am sure I heard someone shout at me "Oi U Thant"?
prestonchipfryer
01-08-2012, 17:31
No, but once while climbing Mt. Everest a woman showed me her nepals. How is your crotch mildew?
Don't ever call me Mildred in public!!!!
Can you smell Haddock in heaven?
prestonchipfryer
30-01-2013, 20:31
Be fishy if you couldn't.
How are your bunions?
Natalie NWA
30-01-2013, 21:27
Bunions fine.
How is your belly for spots
Natalie
Fine - my pink dressing gown is hiding them nicely! :eyebrows:
How's yer bum for stretch marks?
Marco.
Natalie NWA
30-01-2013, 21:52
Cheeky git lol, I don't have stretch marks and I'm 42 on Friday.
How's your face for bruises, could you do with a good punch lololol
Hehehehe...
What would you like on your cake?
Marco.
Natalie NWA
30-01-2013, 22:05
Not 42 frigging candles that's for sure.
I would like for my birthday a telephone call free day but it ain't going to happen :lol:.
How's your forum for threads:lol::lol::lol:
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