Zappa Quotes - Your favourite?

[Gmanuk101]

Now being a fan of the late Mr Zappa and his verbage, I do like to read some of his quotes from time to time when the day gets long or just a bit poo.

I have a favourite few, but this one is up there:

"Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production
deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid"

what's yours?

[Werner Berghofer]

what's yours?

“Jazz isn’t dead, it just smells funny.”

[The Grand Wazoo]

“A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.”

[snapper]

"The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows."

[Barry]

There are just too many -but I rather like Zappa's ontological contribution:

"Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, use that something to support their own existence."

[Stratmangler]

If you don't vote don't bitch.

[jazzpiano]

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - It helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."
- Frank Zappa

[Joe]

'Rock critics: people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read'.

[The Grand Wazoo]

"I got it from the toilet seat
It jumped right up
And grabbed my meat
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Oh God I probably got the Gon-o-ka-ka-khackus!"

[The Grand Wazoo]

"I'm not black
But there's a whole lot of times
I wish I could say I'm not white"

[Barry]

"I'm not black
But there's a whole lot of times
I wish I could say I'm not white"

Amen to that!

[Alex_UK]

A couple of super ones:

"If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library."

"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia."

[Stratmangler]

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.

[Stratmangler]

The first thing you have to do if you want to raise nice kids, is you have to talk to them like they are people instead of talking to them like they're property.

[Stratmangler]

There is no hell. There is only France.

[Havana]

Two more goodies :

“Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?”


“I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when you watch the news ... if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you're right.”

[The Grand Wazoo]

"On a multi-channel mix you can put a close mike on the kick drum, a close mike on the snare drum, a close mike on the horns and so on - and them combine them. There is no place in nature where a human being could stand that would allow him to hear all those instruments that way with his ears. This artificial acoustical perspective has become the norm".

[Joe]

'I bought your double-knits
I thought they were the pits'

[Gmanuk101]

Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up.

[The Grand Wazoo]

"Americans use drugs as if consumption bestowed a 'special license to be an asshole"

[Joe]

'Just a bunch of old guys in rock n roll clothes sitting round talking about the good old days. You'll be doing the same in 20 years time, if there's anything left to sit on'.

[rejuicer]

"Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!" amongst many other gems

[michaelhigh]

From Billy The Mountain, the famous refrain..."Don't fuck around with Billy!" Hadyadiyada!

[serendipitydawg]

"What do you make of a society that is so primitive that it clings to the belief that certain words in its language are so powerful that they could corrupt you the moment you hear them?"