When your best mate dies [Archive] - The Art of Sound Forum

JazzBones

10-05-2011, 10:01

:( My best mate from early childhood died this week of a massive heart attack. Both Colin and I had many more years behind us than years ahead of us :wheniwasaboy: but we oftened use to joke about me returning one day to Oz and the two of us would watch the world go by and put any wrongs to right... I guess that will never happen now. At least I can say that my mate went quick on a night out with family friends, wish I could have been there. It was Colin's shout so he ambled over to the bar, ordered drinks, and then Pow!, he was hit by a massive heart attack and was no more. We use to spend hours chatting on Skype and I would tell him that the Poms weren't a bad mob, I married one :), and when the hell was he going to catch a plane and get his arse over for a visit? No more chats or visits, he's gone!

Sorry to have unburdened my deep sorrow here but I just had to do something and have other mates gather around whilst I cry over my greatest loss.

Col, why'd ya have to go you daft bastard!? :barrel:

Ron

keiths

10-05-2011, 10:05

So sorry to hear that, Ron.

Stratmangler

10-05-2011, 10:33

None of us gets out alive, but knowing that doesn't make losing someone close any easier.
You have my condolences - your mate sounded pretty special, and I know he'll be missed. At least you've been blessed to have had him in your life.

Doesn't make the pain any easier though.....

Alex_UK

10-05-2011, 10:33

Sorry to read your sad news Ron. :(

Sadly, something we will all be likely to go through (I lost my best mate when I was 17, and I still think of him almost daily - another very good friend at 30, and that made me evaluate my life and make some very drastic changes (left my first wife, and started doing more of the things I wanted to do, not what others wanted me to do...))

There aren't any words that can make it better - cliché alert - time is a great healer. You'll never forget him, but in time the pain will be less and you'll be able to remember all the great times without blubbing like a baby!

I posted a thread on here ages ago - Enjoy Every Minute of Every Track (http://theartofsound.net/forum/showthread.php?t=4507) - when we lost a work colleague in similar circumstances. There were some very touching posts by the members here, and it may help in some small way to have a read.

I'm sure lots of us will be along to offer our condolences, and in the good old British tradition, offer you a nice cup of tea - cures everything in this country... Nah - have a beer or three, and drink to your mate and the memories.

Beechwoods

10-05-2011, 10:40

Same here Ron. It's a terrible hole that's left when you lose someone so suddenly. Do him proud when you send him off, ok :)

JazzBones

10-05-2011, 10:47

Thanks all, your words have been very much appreciated. When I first joined the AoS I said it was like walking into a friendly pub and making new friends... I was right mates :)

Ron

Marco

10-05-2011, 10:56

Hi Ron,

Sorry to hear of your loss. You have my condolences :(

I consider it a great compliment that you should choose to discuss the loss of your best friend here, which is testament to the fact that AoS is more than simply an audio and music forum - it is a community of real people, and yes, you are among friends.

I hope that in doing so it has brought you some comfort.

I'm sure that your life has been enriched during the time you knew Colin, and that as such you won't forget him - may he rest in peace.

Marco.

JazzBones

10-05-2011, 11:30

Thanks Marco and everyone, its helping me cope... no forgetting but now I move on amongst new friends and friendships,

Thanks again
Ron

The Grand Wazoo

10-05-2011, 12:00

Hi Ron,
I'm really very sorry to hear of your loss. I know how it feels for you, having gone through the same sort of deal a few years ago. As Alex says, one day when you think of Colin, you'll be able to smile & when that day comes, though it's no compensation, it's still a great feeling.
All the best mate.

shane

10-05-2011, 12:13

Funny, isn't it. We sit here and pontificate about music and hifi, and it all seems terribly important until something like this happens, and you realise that the things that really matter are love and good friends, and nothing can compensate for their loss. Just remember that while friends and lovers die, friendship and love do not.

MartinT

10-05-2011, 12:15

Commiserations, Ron. Remember happy memories together and live for every day is my philosophy, borne from losing loved ones and flying a little close to the reaper myself.

Give him a good send-off.

John

10-05-2011, 13:05

WAD62

10-05-2011, 13:22

It's never easy Ron, lost one of my best mates 18months ago, to a slow lingering horrible death...just be slightly consoled that it was quick, I know that probably doesn't help much right now, but time is the only healer...sorry for the cliché but there's a lot of truth in it.

And as all of the other guys have said, keep hold of the good times.

I'm not a religious man at all, but there's something about the formalised closure that a funeral brings that somehow makes things more tolerable, whether it be religious or humanist.

Chin up mate...

anthonyTD

10-05-2011, 14:21

hi Ron,
dont think we have ever conversed but all the same, i am very sorry to hear your sad news, like others have said, you have to be glad that you had him in your life and for the good times you shared, a friendship like that is hard to come by these days.
no doubt he will live on through your memories.
sometimes life deals us all a cruel blow from time to time, its almost like a reminder that we arent here forever and to make the most of every day.
all the best.:)
Anthony,TD...

JazzBones

10-05-2011, 14:39

Not easy losing you best mate
Can a few of you go out and do something special to celbrate his memory
One thing I like about my cultural tradition is the wake when people gather round to tell stories
Just all the best

John,... my mate Colin would've have loved a wake, same as I would, he was of Italian and Irish descent. I'm of Scottish (non bag pipe playing) and everything else under the sun descent so that stir fry of a mixture would be one helluva send off wouldn't it? Unfortunately his funeral is tomorrow and too late for me to get to Sydney. I will most probably go later in the year for a reminice and grog up with other mates, no doubt they will want to microwave my beer as they think I drink it warm nowadays as most poms do :) :lol:

You guys have cheered me up, thanks all.

Ron

Rare Bird

10-05-2011, 15:57

JazzBones

10-05-2011, 16:38

O dear sorry to hear this Ron

I have one single person in the world i care about & i'm scared to death of loosing her.Might sound selfish but i'm praying i go first..It's been on my mind a lot of late i dunno why!

Thanks Andre, I know who you're talking about as my missus is the love of my life and I would not want to lose my No 1, best mate.... make the most of today, take a look at your lady when she doesn't know and thank whatever, whoever, it was that brought you together:)

Cheers mate
Ron

MartinT

10-05-2011, 16:55

I have one single person in the world i care about & i'm scared to death of loosing her.Might sound selfish but i'm praying i go first..It's been on my mind a lot of late i dunno why!

I completely understand, Andr'e: I have two people that make up my world - my son and my partner. Chances are I'll die before my partner but I would prefer not to give her that anguish. There's not a lot I can do about it, however.

Jonboy

10-05-2011, 17:36

O dear sorry to hear this Ron

I have one single person in the world i care about & i'm scared to death of loosing her.Might sound selfish but i'm praying i go first..It's been on my mind a lot of late i dunno why!

Same here Andr'e, although i have come close to really pissing her off once to often of late with my heavy drinking and being a feeling sorry for myself twat.

I lost my best mate just after i met my wife, he was killed on a Motobike when i was 21 he was 20, i know he and i would still be doing things together, we were doing the same sort of engineering work at the same time and we were going to work together, i jacked in my factory engineering days shorly after that as i lost interest to be honest and struggled to finish my colledge courses, it has stood me in good stead over the years though

DSJR

10-05-2011, 18:17

I'm so sorry Ron...

Most of my friends are older than me as you know and one very close one, who was like a second Dad to me (the one who'd had his wife donate him one of her kidneys 18 years before), passed on a few years ago.

I really hope you will come to terms with your loss mate. Sadly, I'm no longer around your area, otherwise I'd love the chance to have a good few bevvies with you..

goraman

10-05-2011, 23:05

Ron,I'm sorry to hear about your friend.

chris@panteg

10-05-2011, 23:34

Ron , I too would like to offer my sympathy at your loss , all i can think of saying is try and remember the good times you had together and the happy memories .

prestonchipfryer

11-05-2011, 09:29

Life is such a short journey. To have known your friend is to know what true friendship means; it is one of the great things we must nurture and cherish. It is sad time when you lose someone; time will heal your hurt but your memories will remain strong. God bless.

John

Spectral Morn

11-05-2011, 17:32

Hello Ron

I am very sorry to hear of your loss, it is a sad fact of life that as you grow older many of the people you know and love start to pass on. It is one of those aspects of life that does not get any easier but keep in mind all the great times and memories you have had with your friend.

As long as you and his other friends and family remember those and their times with him he will still be with you, residing in your hearts, minds and spirits.

So raise a glass to him Ron and for everyone else here to those who have gone before you. Pause for a moment and remember them.

I'll start :cool: Here's to my Mum.

Regards Neil

Alex_UK

11-05-2011, 17:59

...and I know I said it in my other thread - but if there is anyone in your life that you've fallen out with or lost touch with and you wish you hadn't - don't put it off until tomorrow - tomorrow may never come...

MartinT

11-05-2011, 21:09

Wise words, Alex.

Reid Malenfant

11-05-2011, 21:29

Indeed Martin, i just wonder if an old friend of mine i lost touch with still has the same phone number? :scratch:

Might have to try it :)

On the OP note i know where you are coming from Ron, i think a good few of us if not all of us have gone through this. It's odd but i can't help thinking that the people that just don't deserve it end up there first :rolleyes: My commiserations to you chap, you aren't alone ;)