I think you have to view it from the perspective of the dealer (I am not in the hi fi trade but have a very good friend who is).
The intense competition, coupled to the present state of the economy, the impact of 'direct selling', internet and available customer base has combined to create something of a 'perfect storm' in the hi fi retailing world.
From conversations with my friend, I can appreciate his frustration at receiving telephone calls from people who have cobbled together a system from the classifieds, Ebay, internet etc and then ask his advice as to how to get the best out of it. This is time taken up on the telephone which is unlikely to yield him any money in sales.
Even worse is the punter who rings enquiring about a product or products a dealer stocks, asks loads of questions, demands a home demonstration, asks for a discount and then buys from the cheapest source off the internet or used!
Steve hits the nail on the head when he acknowledges that dealers have to make a living. Why should we expect a service for free? Contrast the UK with the US where the life is driven by the dollar. Tips are the norm and you would receive a rebuke if you failed to give the barman a dollar for every drink served or the waitress or bellboy at a hotel for service rendered.
As a angler, I can see the value in 'baiting a hook' and it can pay dividends for a dealer to be speculative and give all sorts of free advice/time to a dozen people, hoping that there may be one potential customer amongst them, but on the whole, I can see the frustration that can develop through dealing with time-wasters.
My advice, from over 30 years spent in this hobby of ours, is to find a good dealer (and yes, I know that is hard these days with the trade being infested with so many arseholes!) develop a relationship with him and be loyal by giving him your business.
Believe me, the good ones are like gold dust and there can be a lot of unhappy experiences/wasted money on the road to Nirvanha!
Steve.
My System:- dCS Vivaldi Transport + dCS Vivaldi Apex DAC + dCS Vivaldi Master Word Clock + dCS Vivaldi Upsampler Plus, Aurender N20 Music Server/Streamer, TW Raven One tt/Graham Phantom II/Transfiguration Orpheus L & Audio Technica ART20 mc's, Whest Titan Pro, D'Agostino Momentum HD pre/S250 MxV power amp, TAD CR-1 MKII loudspeakers, REL Gibraltar G2 subs, Coherent Systems BD Mains, interconnects & speaker cables, Sablon Audo EVO USB cable, Tellurium Q Ultra Silver power cords, Ziro Disclosure & Vertex Roraima Hi-Rez power cords + Furutech FI connectors, Stillpoints ESS racks/component stands, Vertex Aletheia PSU2 balanced power supply, Coherent Systems RTZ3 ground box + CR/BD cables, Acoustica Applicata DaaD room treatment, Mutec Ref10 SE-120.