Hi Martin,Originally Posted by Minstrel SE
It not that though is it really. I am not unhappy in that sense. I spend the rest of the year giving when I can and enjoying myself when I can. I have a dinner party when I want but I wont let this forced fun of Christmas take over.
Serenity comes from within and I wont be told its a countdown to a day of "fun" when I plaster on a fake smile. Its just not my idea of enjoying myself.
In that way Christmas is an insult to who I am. It is essentially a commercial venture to get people buying goods in the cold winter months when we should be tucked up warmly indoors.
We just see it for what it is. I get cards from people who have never picked up the phone for a chat or said come for a pint. They have never got in touch when I was at a low ebb and maybe unemployed...but a Christmas card comes through the door with seasons greetingsIts become a duty to save face rather than anything of real meaning.
So we are not unhappier than anyone else but tend to see past the tinsel and baubles. There are another 364 days and I fail to see the excitement of gift giving and a turkey meal on a day of forced fun. Yes there are some nice touches but overall its stuff and nonsense.
The Christmas lovers always get away with calling us miserable scrooges but maybe they should look a bit deeper into what we are actually saying
You make some good points, especially about 'friends' whom you rarely hear from, especially during tough times, when they're simply posted as missing, yet feel that making the dispassionate and superficial gesture of sending you a mass-produced Christmas card once a year, somehow makes up for their absence in person, so yes, bollox to that!
However, the post you've quoted of mine was not aimed at someone like you, who is clearly a warm, well-adjusted and caring human being; it was aimed at folk who begrudge the happiness and contentment of others at Christmas (and indeed at other times throughout the year), simply because it throws a spotlight on their inherent unhappiness, which they simply don't wish to face up to or admit!
I firmly believe that is why these types of people hate Christmas, simply because seeing others enjoying themselves with friends and family makes them feel bad because it showcases their sadness or loneliness, if they don't have any left of their own, and/or perhaps that they regret falling out with those they do (did) have, and driving them away. And when you're all alone, with only the demons in your head as company, it can be a very unpleasant and unsettling existence.
Now normally I'd be sympathetic to their plight, as real sadness or loneliness isn't a nice thing, but not when they're determined to spoil the fun and enjoyment of everyone else, due simply to resenting them having a better life or relationship with their partner or family than they have. That's both nasty and selfish, and something I have no time for. Jealousy has never been an attractive trait.
The bitter malcontents of this world, therefore, should learn to wallow silently in their sad existence, without resenting or begrudging others their fun or happiness...
Anyway, unlike your good self (for whatever justified reason) I don't have to "plaster on a fake smile" at Christmas because I *genuinely and wholeheartedly* LOVE it!!
If you're blessed with having really good friends, deserved of the name, and a family and wife who would do anything for you, and would stand by you through thick and thin, then why on earth wouldn't you take great pleasure from spending time in their company at Christmas, or indeed during any other time of the year?
I'm already starting to look forward to my best friend from Scotland coming down to visit for a month, my wife being off for 2 weeks over Christmas and New Year, so I can spoil her in the manner she deserves, and my dad (whom I'm very close to) coming round to share some lovely meals with us, and in the process making some very nice memories, which will stay with me forever.
So forgive me if I can't help but enjoy celebrating the festive period, and having fun with my friends and family, for very genuine reasons, and so my smiling is real!
YMMV.
Marco.
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