Are you Aspergers?

[Joe]

And, in that respect, you're not alone. However, as I'm completely the opposite (very little fazes me socially), I've always wondered what causes such 'shyness' in someone?

Marco.

I think it's generally a heightened awareness of self; the constant fear that 'everyone's looking at me' (though they usually aren't). Often shyness coincides with adolescence, when the body is changing and there's emotional changes going on too; some people grow out of it as they become more comfortable in their skin, as it were, others don't. It may be partly a cultural/generational thing too; until relatively recently children in England were expected to be seen and not heard, especially out in public, so parents would discourage children from talking to adults, with the result that the children became tongue-tied.

[Macca]

I just can't think of what to say to the buggers!

:

I was the same until I worked in sales. I was shy as a boy though, like Joe says we were brought up not to bother the adults by talking to them or indeed engaging with them in any way. Was even worse with girls. no sisters and all boys school, they might as well have been a separate species for me as a teenager.

[struth]

they are a separate species mate.

[Marco]

I think it's generally a heightened awareness of self; the constant fear that 'everyone's looking at me' (though they usually aren't). Often shyness coincides with adolescence, when the body is changing and there's emotional changes going on too; some people grow out of it as they become more comfortable in their skin, as it were, others don't. It may be partly a cultural/generational thing too; until relatively recently children in England were expected to be seen and not heard, especially out in public, so parents would discourage children from talking to adults, with the result that the children became tongue-tied.

Thanks for that, and I can appreciate where you're coming from, although I had a somewhat different upbringing.

Marco.

[Marco]

I was the same until I worked in sales. I was shy as a boy though, like Joe says we were brought up not to bother the adults by talking to them or indeed engaging with them in any way. Was even worse with girls. no sisters and all boys school, they might as well have been a separate species for me as a teenager.

Lol... Just shows you how different we are! I've never really been shy, even as an only child, as I was brought up used to adult company and mixing with them from an early age. As such, from as soon as I could hold a decent conversation, I was always an opinionated wee bugger!

What also helped, in that respect, was working in my dad's chip shop and interacting with the general public, which happened from my early teens. Also, the schools I went to were all mixed, and I had no problem chatting to (or chatting up) girls!

Marco.

[Len Co]

And, in that respect, you're not alone. However, as I'm completely the opposite (very little fazes me socially), I've always wondered what causes such 'shyness' in someone?

Marco.

There are probably as many answers as there are 'shy' people. One possibility is that a person has no small-talk or no interest in small-talk which can be uncomfortable, or maybe in a larger group one doesn't have the urge to 'compete' for attention which again can be awkward. The list is endless. Turning it round, Can you say what it is that makes you so sociably well adjusted? I bet it's not a universal correlation.

Edit: I see your later post, but had already posted this

[Marco]

Lol... Don't know about "socially well-adjusted", Mark!

I'm just not in the slightest bit shy and completely comfortable talking to anyone, in any environment I've experienced so far. I've done public speaking in the past too, in front of 100s of people. It's just not something that bothers me.

There are plenty of other things that do, though!

Marco.

P.S Just noticed your edit, but replied anyway.

[Puffin]

I don't do small talk, and feel uncomfortable when in situations where it seems to be required.
I'm quite happy to chatter away about specific things of interest, though.
That is a kind of shyness.

Small Talk! Most people talk bollox and only about the stuff they want to talk about. Can't stand being one to one with someone I don't know, or barely know. I would rather put a scalding hot Steam Iron to my cheek and hold it there all night, much less painful. If they do, as an afterthought ask you anything about yourself I make something up which I hope will make them clam up, like "what do you do"..."Oh i'm a roadsweeper"

[Len Co]

Try serial-killer next time ��

[Joe]

Small Talk! Most people talk bollox and only about the stuff they want to talk about.

That's fine for me; I'm a good listener and am quite happy if people blether on about stuff and I just need to smile and nod. Where I have a problem (sometimes, and a lot less frequently than when I was in my teens) is thinking of things to say myself. Once I get started though, it's hard to shut me up.