Originally Posted by Pharos
You're bang on with everything you said, mate but especially the stuff I highlighted above.
I know what you mean about the "care home" comment too - this ain't the 1950s where wifey stayed at home and you had your choice of top jobs for top dollar and everyone had a maid and a gardener and a picket fence.
Again, Marco you're also spot on with everything you say, both replying to me and to Pharos.
That resentment thing .. jeez, I'd actually go further and say some people are actually hostile about it.
Relatives have demanded to know why I haven't "settled down" and had children and treat me like the black sheep of the family.
Actually, I say that but I never see them - they were step-relatives anyway and now my stepdad's gone I've given up the facade of family events for his sake. The only family I've got is my sister and her brood who live in Johannesburg.
Curiously enough, she was another who couldn't understand my life.
It got to the point where she got drunk at a dinner party when I was over there and said some really nasty shit to me in front of everyone.
I got up and walked away, but she found me ten minutes later and got in my face saying that I was "broken".
I don't even know what that means ..
This was a few years ago.
Since then, she's actually spent time in the UK again and just with me and my friends. I've taken her all over the country to meet people in my life and we've been away together to Germany and Edinburgh and really connected again.
Now she knows loads about me, my friends, what I do, where and how and she actually DOES understand me and my life choices.
She's met a couple of girlfriends in that time too, which was funny for me given she'd not met any in the 25 years previous - she's actually been down south now for longer than she lived in England prior to emigrating.
Still, I'm rambling now.
I guess what I'm trying to say is "Walk a mile in my shoes, before you judge me" to paraphrase Elvis.
She asked me last time I saw her if I would've cut her off too.
I said no but knew the answer was yes.
I think I am a bit broken but isn't everyone ?
Oh, and one last point : the thing about people who MUST be in a relationship because they can't exist on their own.
What is that all about ??
One mate got married and even on his wedding day I asked him how long it would last and he said "A few months probably".
Twelve years later they finally got divorced.
He suffered multiple burns - real life threatening stuff - in an accident and was in a coma for six months. It's a miracle he lived and half his body looks melted, it's amazing.
In a semi-comatose state, he lay in hospital one day as his wife came to see him. She was on the phone to a friend at the bank where she worked and the conversation was about life insurance and whether she'd "be okay" if he died (!!) and how much she'd get with the cover they had.
Five minutes later she called a Mercedes dealership to confirm that yes, she would take the car she looked at earlier that day.
... all the while holding his hand.
She thought he couldn't hear her and was gonna pop his clogs anyway.
Christ.
I could go on all day .. when's the next meet-up ?
I think it'll be a therapeutic experience
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