Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "paedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50.
It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
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The thing I love most about this hot weather is the short skirts and low cut tops....
Although, they do make me look a bit gay.
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Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the circus, a spokesman said "We'll struggle to get another man of the same calibre."