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Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #1141
    Join Date: Nov 2011

    Location: Harold Hill, Romford, Essex

    Posts: 4,768
    I'm inconspicuous.

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  2. #1142
    Join Date: Feb 2013

    Location: W Lothian

    Posts: 41,046
    I'm Grant.

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    its a funny feeling being older than your dad
    Regards,
    Grant ....

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: democracy simply-doesn't-work
    .... ..... ...... ...... ................... ..... ..... ..... ..... .....
    OPPO BDP-103D DARBEE - JBE SERIES 3/M55 SAS/EMOTIVA XPS1 - TWIN PRO MONOBLOCK AMPLIFIERS - XIANG SHENG DAC\PRE\HEADPHONE AMP - TWIN AVANTREE OASIS CLASS 1 BLUETOOTHS - AUDIO TECHNICA ATH-MSR7 & OPPO PM-3 PLANAR HEADPHONES - WIN10 JRIVER23, DEEZER HiFi - ECHO DOT - SMSL M6 MINIDAC - RPI/AUDIOPHONICS - FULL RANGE TWIN TELEFUNKEN/Q ACOUSTIC BT3/CANTON SUB - P.INSPIRED MAINS REGENERATED.

  3. #1143
    Join Date: Oct 2015

    Location: Pulborough, West Sussex, UK

    Posts: 685
    I'm Ian.

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    My stuff; Toshiba SR-370/Mission 774 /Ortofon Quintet Black, Cambridge CXC CD transport/Musical Fidelity X DAC/Musical Fidelity X10v3 tube buffer, Musical Fidelity A3, Nakamichi CA-5E pre amp, Acoustic Solutions FM/DAB tuner, Mordaunt Short Signifer, Klotz MC5000/MS audio, NVA LS5

  4. #1144
    Join Date: May 2012

    Location: Eastbourne UK

    Posts: 688
    I'm Geoffrey.

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    A teacher asked her class to name something that ends with 'tor' that eats things.

    The first little boy Timmy says, "Alligator, miss".

    "Very good, that's a big word."

    The second boy William says, "Predator, miss".

    "Yes, that's another big word. Well done."

    Little Johnny says, "Vibrator, miss."

    After nearly falling off her chair, she says, "That is a big word Johnny, but it doesn't eat anything."

    Little Johnny says, "Well my sister has one and she says it eats batteries like there's no tomorrow!"




    Almost 40 years together and my Wife still gets upset if I use her toothbrush!



    So if any of you knows of another way to get dog poo out of trainers I'm all ears?


    As I put another log on the fire last night, I thought.......

    Really must get this bloody toilet fixed!


    History celebrates Emily Davison, the suffragette who threw herself under the King's horse at the Derby in 1913.

    Sadly, no-one remembers Mr Davison, who had to make his own tea that evening.


    A bloke goes to a supermarket checkout with 1 egg, 1 sausage, 1 tomato and 1 mushroom.
    Checkout lass asks him whilst she is serving him "Do you by any chance live alone" ?
    Bloke replies "no, but why do you ask" ?
    Checkout lass replies "because your such an ugly fcu%er "

  5. #1145
    Join Date: Jul 2014

    Location: Shropshire

    Posts: 1,840
    I'm Anto.

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    James Bond is laid off and at the job centre, there are only two jobs available, one in a call centre and the other in a fabric colouring plant.

    "Huh, " said Bond, "you expect me to talk?"

    "No Mr Bond, " replied the interviewer, "I expect you to dye. "
    I only ride 'em, I don't know what makes 'em work

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