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Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #1081
    Join Date: Nov 2013

    Location: Powys

    Posts: 1,199
    I'm David.

    Default

    Police have raided Kermit the Frog's lily pad and taken away a large quantity of explicit, naked photos of Miss Piggy.
    A spokesperson said that it was the worst case of frogspawn they'd ever seen.

  2. #1082
    Join Date: Jul 2014

    Location: Shropshire

    Posts: 2,420
    I'm Anto.

    Default

    Had a row with Mrs Oddball this evening. She was in a real state and ended up throwing a bottle of fabric conditioner at me. It must have been Lenor, as it was too close for Comfort.
    I only ride 'em, I don't know what makes 'em work

  3. #1083
    Join Date: Oct 2012

    Location: The Black Country

    Posts: 6,089
    I'm Alan.

    Default Laugh

    A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, 'No, I'm travelling light.'
    ¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

    Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous. I see a lot of new faces tonight, which is disappointing.
    ¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

    There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who read binary and those who don't.

  4. #1084
    Join Date: Feb 2017

    Location: Surrey, UK

    Posts: 506
    I'm Mark.

    Default

    Took a photo of myself in the local library today, bit of a shelfie really.

  5. #1085
    Join Date: Aug 2012

    Location: Great Yarmouth

    Posts: 82
    I'm Tim.

    Red face While living in Tennessee

    While living in Tennessee* I* was speaking to a class mate about flying home to the UK and he asked me why didn't I drive instead, man it was so hard to keep a striate face in the same class I had a dude ask me what language they spoke in the uk.
    You just can't make this stuff up.
    Hillbilly's you got to love them

  6. #1086
    Join Date: Apr 2012

    Location: N E Kent

    Posts: 51,624
    I'm Geoff.

    Default

    Thick is forever. Pity them.
    It is impossible for anything digital to sound analogue, because it isn't analogue!

  7. #1087
    Join Date: Mar 2008

    Location: Galashiels

    Posts: 13,669
    I'm inthescottishmafia.

    Default

    https://i.imgur.com/s4VLbgv.jpg
    “Music has always been a matter of energy to me, a question of fuel. Sentimental people call it inspiration, but what they really mean is fuel. I have always needed fuel. I am a serious consumer. On some nights I still believe that a car with the gas needle on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio”

    Hunter S Thompson

  8. #1088
    Join Date: Apr 2011

    Location: Surrey

    Posts: 4,162
    I'm Mike.

    Default

    Superb !
    TAD CD / DAC / Pre, Technics 1210, MCRU PSU, Mike New Bearing & Platter, Stillpoints LP1 weight, Speedy Steve Ebony armboard, Fidelity Research FR64FX arm, Ortofon SPU. Aurorasound VIDA Phono Pre Amp, TAD Power Amp, TAD E1 speakers. Coherent RTZ 3 Grounding box, Coherent grounding cables, Creaktiv racks. Coherent Mains Cables. SR Blue Fuse. Interconnects : Coherent and Yannis 223.5 Connect Litz. Coherent speaker cable. Audio Magic Transcendence Conditioner. Coherent mains socket. Mains Filters : , PS Audio Harvesters, Russ Andrews Purifiers, Tacima, Vertex. Black Ravioli and RDC supports. Electric Beach S1NX platforms for TAD CD and Technics. Ferrite chokes everywhere except the above. Ears, brain

    Mike

  9. #1089
    Join Date: Apr 2015

    Location: Central Virginia

    Posts: 1,736
    I'm Russell.

    Default

    They say the "tooth brush", was invented in West Virginia, because if it had been invented anywhere else, they would have called it a, "teeth brush"!


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

  10. #1090
    Join Date: Apr 2015

    Location: Central Virginia

    Posts: 1,736
    I'm Russell.

    Default

    A young man was hitch hiking in the country on an old dirt road when a car stopped to pick him up. A nice old man driving invited him to ride. There was a Mason jar of moonshine setting on the front seat. So the old man offered him a drink. He said, "thank you no, I'm not a drinking man.", so the old man insisted he have a drink with him! And again he declined. Then the old man pulled out a big long pistol and held it up to his head and cocked the hammer and said, "damn it I said DRINK!!", so the the man quickly opened it and took a long pull from the jar. It hit the bottom of his stomach like a brick and blew the top of his head off, some really terrible stuff! He spit and spewed and hollered out loud! Once he had recovered, the old man flipped the pistol around and handed to him and said, "Now you hold the gun on me while I drink!"!!


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

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