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Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #1
    Join Date: Feb 2008

    Location: North East UK

    Posts: 6,358
    I'm InSpace.

    Talking Jokes & Funnies

    As the thread title says!

    I'll start of with this:

    http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1735982

    Pay particular attention to the facial expression of the guy in green. Priceless!

    Shian7
    --------------------------------------------------------

    Kudakutemo
    kudakutemo

    ari mizu-no tsuki

    Though it be be broken -
    broken again - still it's there:
    the moon on the water.

    - Choshu.

  2. #2
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Norwich

    Posts: 1,064
    I'm Mike.

    Default Unusual Shop/business Names

    Seen in Billericay, Essex, and Thanet,

    A fish & chip shop called THE CODFATHER

    A house cleaning company van, signwritten with SPRUCE SPRINGCLEAN

    A hairdresser (many do have amusing names). HAIRY POPPINS


    In the wild, how can one tell a weasel from a stoat ?

    One is weasily recognised but the other is stoatally different.


    Why can't you obtain aspirin from any chemists in the Amazon basin?
    Because the paracetamol.


    MUSICAL JOKE

    What resultant sound comes from dropping a grand piano onto a military barracks?

    A flat major


    Oh, well! Just doing my bit, Shian7

  3. #3
    Join Date: Feb 2008

    Location: South Wales

    Posts: 9,151
    I'm NotTakingLifeTooSeriouslyTheseDays.

    Red face

    Quote Originally Posted by Mike Reed View Post
    Seen in Billericay, Essex, and Thanet,

    A fish & chip shop called THE CODFATHER

    A house cleaning company van, signwritten with SPRUCE SPRINGCLEAN

    A hairdresser (many do have amusing names). HAIRY POPPINS


    In the wild, how can one tell a weasel from a stoat ?

    One is weasily recognised but the other is stoatally different.


    Why can't you obtain aspirin from any chemists in the Amazon basin?
    Because the paracetamol.


    MUSICAL JOKE

    What resultant sound comes from dropping a grand piano onto a military barracks?

    A flat major


    Oh, well! Just doing my bit, Shian7
    great, made me laugh anyway, any more???

  4. #4
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Norwich

    Posts: 1,064
    I'm Mike.

    Default

    Thank you, Anthony.

    Shall post another or two over the b. h.

  5. #5
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: S.E. Wales

    Posts: 254

    Default

    A bloke visits a zoo and is disappointed to find only a dog there...




    ...it was a shitzu

  6. #6
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Posts: 544

    Default

    How many marketing men does it take to spam a forum?

  7. #7
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Posts: 544

    Default

    Whoops! sorry - that is not a joke

  8. #8
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Wrexham, North Wales, UK

    Posts: 110,012
    I'm AudioAl'sArbiterForPISHANTO.

    Default

    Yes, Super Muppet, we need a new rant. So get to it!

    Did you get the message from Rob about the new room with mod facilities we're going to give you?

    Meanwhile, here's a little joke-ette:

    Rev John Flapps sees a lady church member getting drunk in the pub. He tries to take her home but they fall and he ends up on top of her. The landlord says:

    "Oi mate you can't do that in here!".

    The Rev replies: "You don't understand, I'm Pastor Flapps".

    The landlord replies: "Well if you're that far in you may as well finish!"

    Marco.
    Main System

    Turntable: Heavily-modified Technics SL-1210MK5G [Mike New bearing/ETP platter/Paul Hynes SR7 PSU & reg mods]. Funk Firm APM Achromat/Nagaoka GL-601 Crystal Record Weight/Isonoe feet & boots/Ortofon RS-212D/Denon DL-103GL in Denon PCL-300 headshell with Funk Firm Houdini/Kondo SL-115 pure-silver cartridge leads.

    Paul Hynes MC head amp/SR5 PSU. Also modded Lentek head amp/Denon AU-310 SUT.

    Other Cartridges: Nippon Columbia (NOS 1987) Denon DL-103. USA-made Shure SC35C with NOS stylus. Goldring G820 with NOS stylus. Shure M55E with NOS stylus.

    CD Player: Audiocom-modified Sony X-777ES/DAS-R1 DAC.

    Tape Deck: Tandberg TCD 310, fully restored and recalibrated as new, by RDE, plus upgraded with heads from the TCD-420a. Also with matching TM4 Norway microphones.

    Preamps: Heavily-modified Croft Charisma-X. LDR Stereo Coffee. Power Amps: Tube Distinctions Copper Amp fitted with Tungsol KT-150s. Quad 306.

    Cables & Sundries: Mark Grant HDX1 interconnects and digital coaxial cable, plus Mark Grant 6mm UP-LCOFC Van Damme speaker cable. MCRU 'Ultimate' mains leads. Lehmann clone headphone amp with vintage Koss PRO-4AAA headphones.

    Tube Distinctions digital noise filter. VPI HW16.5 record cleaning machine.

    Speakers: Tannoy 15MGs in Lockwood cabinets with modified crossovers. 1967 Celestion Ditton 15.


    Protect your HUMAN RIGHTS and REFUSE ANY *MANDATORY* VACCINE FOR COVID-19!

    Also **SAY NO** to unjust 'vaccine passports' or certificates, which are totally incompatible with a FREE society!!!


  9. #9
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Cheadle Hulme, Cheshire

    Posts: 41

    Default

    Heather Mills has bought a plane with her divorce settlement, but plans to carry on using Immac on her other leg...

  10. #10
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Norwich

    Posts: 1,064
    I'm Mike.

    Default Titillating Tonsil Time

    SIMON & PETER

    Simon and Peter have been sharing a new flat for a couple of months.

    "Peter", says Simon one day, " my mother is hinting strongly that it's about time we invited her round to see the new place".

    "Fine", says Peter, "send her an e-mail". "Yeah!", responded Simon, " but you don't know my mother; something ALWAYS goes walkies after one of her visits".

    Anyway, Simon contacted his mother, who duly came round to dinner a week later. Simon couln't help noticing throughout the meal that his mother kept giving furtive glances at Peter. After the meal, Simon pulled his mother to one side and questioned her slightly strange behaviour.

    "Your new flatmate Peter is a very handsome boy", she said in a suggestive tone. Simon, realising the insinuation, replied in a defensive but assertive voice that he and Peter were simply friends and flatmates; end of story! His mother eventually departed, to both the boys' relief.

    Ten days later, Peter said to Simon, "Simon, have you seen the frying-pan? I've looked everywhere for it these last few days and assumed you had broken it or something".

    "That's funny", replied Simon, "I've been wondering where it was, too; maybe my mother appropriated it when she was here; I told you what she was like! I'll e-mail her to ask".

    'Dear mother', Simon wrote, 'I'm not saying that you DID walk off with our new frying-pan, and I'm not saying you DIDN'T walk off with it, but it's been missing since your visit'

    His mother e-mailed back promptly with the message 'Dear Simon, I'm not saying that you DO sleep with Peter, and I'm not saying that you DON'T sleep with him, but I'd have thought that he would have found it in his bed by now'

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