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Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #1
    Join Date: Feb 2008

    Location: North East UK

    Posts: 6,365
    I'm InSpace.

    Talking Jokes & Funnies

    As the thread title says!

    I'll start of with this:

    http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1735982

    Pay particular attention to the facial expression of the guy in green. Priceless!

    Shian7
    --------------------------------------------------------

    Kudakutemo
    kudakutemo

    ari mizu-no tsuki

    Though it be be broken -
    broken again - still it's there:
    the moon on the water.

    - Choshu.

  2. #2
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Norwich

    Posts: 463

    Default Unusual Shop/business Names

    Seen in Billericay, Essex, and Thanet,

    A fish & chip shop called THE CODFATHER

    A house cleaning company van, signwritten with SPRUCE SPRINGCLEAN

    A hairdresser (many do have amusing names). HAIRY POPPINS


    In the wild, how can one tell a weasel from a stoat ?

    One is weasily recognised but the other is stoatally different.


    Why can't you obtain aspirin from any chemists in the Amazon basin?
    Because the paracetamol.


    MUSICAL JOKE

    What resultant sound comes from dropping a grand piano onto a military barracks?

    A flat major


    Oh, well! Just doing my bit, Shian7

  3. #3
    Join Date: Feb 2008

    Location: South Wales

    Posts: 5,957
    I'm NotTakingLifeTooSeriouslyTheseDays.

    Red face

    Quote Originally Posted by Mike Reed View Post
    Seen in Billericay, Essex, and Thanet,

    A fish & chip shop called THE CODFATHER

    A house cleaning company van, signwritten with SPRUCE SPRINGCLEAN

    A hairdresser (many do have amusing names). HAIRY POPPINS


    In the wild, how can one tell a weasel from a stoat ?

    One is weasily recognised but the other is stoatally different.


    Why can't you obtain aspirin from any chemists in the Amazon basin?
    Because the paracetamol.


    MUSICAL JOKE

    What resultant sound comes from dropping a grand piano onto a military barracks?

    A flat major


    Oh, well! Just doing my bit, Shian7
    great, made me laugh anyway, any more???

  4. #4
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Norwich

    Posts: 463

    Default

    Thank you, Anthony.

    Shall post another or two over the b. h.

  5. #5
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: S.E. Wales

    Posts: 254

    Default

    A bloke visits a zoo and is disappointed to find only a dog there...




    ...it was a shitzu

  6. #6
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Posts: 544

    Default

    How many marketing men does it take to spam a forum?

  7. #7
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Posts: 544

    Default

    Whoops! sorry - that is not a joke

  8. #8
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Wrexham, North Wales, UK

    Posts: 70,045
    I'm AudioAl'sArbiterForPISHANTO.

    Default

    Yes, Super Muppet, we need a new rant. So get to it!

    Did you get the message from Rob about the new room with mod facilities we're going to give you?

    Meanwhile, here's a little joke-ette:

    Rev John Flapps sees a lady church member getting drunk in the pub. He tries to take her home but they fall and he ends up on top of her. The landlord says:

    "Oi mate you can't do that in here!".

    The Rev replies: "You don't understand, I'm Pastor Flapps".

    The landlord replies: "Well if you're that far in you may as well finish!"

    Marco.
    "A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do". - Milan Kundera.

    "Your validity or worth are not defined or determined by the views of others with their own superimposed agendas". - Pharos (on AoS)

    My system:

    Modified Technics SL-1210MK5G/Mike New high-precision bearing & baseplate/Mike New ETP platter/Bruil record weight/Nagaoka GL602 crystal T/T mat. Paul Hynes SR7EHD PSU (plus regulator modules)/DCSXL pure-silver DC lead. Ortofon RS-212D tonearm/'Speedy Steve' custom-made Ebony armboard. Yannis Tome 423.5 Phono Silver-Litz tonearm cable, with Furutech CF-DIN(R) and Eichmann silver Bullet Plugs. Cartridges: Denon DL-S1 in AT MG-10 headshell with AT-6106 Quattro Hybrid lead-wire. Denon DL-103C1 in '103U' headshell with AT-609 silver lead-wire. Vintage Denon DL-103AU in AT-Ti15ANV Titanium Headshell. Shure M55E in Denon PCL-300 headshell with 6N silver lead-wire. Shure original USA SC35C. Audiocom-modified Sony X-777ES/DAS-R1 transport/DAC. Raspberry Pi-3 Model B and IQaudio Pi-DAC+/Paul Hynes SR3DR-05 linear PSU/Williams Audio NAS linear PSU. Heavily-modified Croft Charisma-X preamp. Stereo Coffee LDR. Head-amp: Paul Hynes design/SR5 PSU. Also modified Lentek. Tube Distinctions 50W Class A P/P Copper amp with cryo-treated Tung Sol KT150s. Speakers: 'Lockwood Majors', using 15" Tannoy Monitor Golds, modified with bespoke crossovers. Also Celestion Ditton 15XRs. Stands: Mana Acoustics (non-magnetic stainless steel 'clones’). Hi-Fi Racks Podium T/T wall shelf. Sony ST-5055L tuner. Cables: Furukawa EE/F-S 2mm & 2.6mm solid-core mains leads, fitted with Furutech FI-50 IECs and FI-1363Rs. Stereo interconnects: Sommer Carbokab 225 (with silver-plated MS Audio non-metallic POM RCAs). Speaker cable: VDH 'The Wind' Hybrid II. Digital coaxial cable: 1m Trompeter Electronics Triax TRC-75-2, with MS Audio ‘Starline' silver-plated RCAs. Mains block: Mark Grant 6-way, modded with Furutech FP-1363R sockets and Furukawa cable. Tube Distinctions digital noise filter. VPI HW 16.5 record cleaner.

  9. #9
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Cheadle Hulme, Cheshire

    Posts: 41

    Default

    Heather Mills has bought a plane with her divorce settlement, but plans to carry on using Immac on her other leg...

  10. #10
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Norwich

    Posts: 463

    Default Titillating Tonsil Time

    SIMON & PETER

    Simon and Peter have been sharing a new flat for a couple of months.

    "Peter", says Simon one day, " my mother is hinting strongly that it's about time we invited her round to see the new place".

    "Fine", says Peter, "send her an e-mail". "Yeah!", responded Simon, " but you don't know my mother; something ALWAYS goes walkies after one of her visits".

    Anyway, Simon contacted his mother, who duly came round to dinner a week later. Simon couln't help noticing throughout the meal that his mother kept giving furtive glances at Peter. After the meal, Simon pulled his mother to one side and questioned her slightly strange behaviour.

    "Your new flatmate Peter is a very handsome boy", she said in a suggestive tone. Simon, realising the insinuation, replied in a defensive but assertive voice that he and Peter were simply friends and flatmates; end of story! His mother eventually departed, to both the boys' relief.

    Ten days later, Peter said to Simon, "Simon, have you seen the frying-pan? I've looked everywhere for it these last few days and assumed you had broken it or something".

    "That's funny", replied Simon, "I've been wondering where it was, too; maybe my mother appropriated it when she was here; I told you what she was like! I'll e-mail her to ask".

    'Dear mother', Simon wrote, 'I'm not saying that you DID walk off with our new frying-pan, and I'm not saying you DIDN'T walk off with it, but it's been missing since your visit'

    His mother e-mailed back promptly with the message 'Dear Simon, I'm not saying that you DO sleep with Peter, and I'm not saying that you DON'T sleep with him, but I'd have thought that he would have found it in his bed by now'

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