Jokes & Funnies

[Oddball]

Another old one and one of my all time favorites!

Did you hear about the gyaenocologist who painted his hall way through his front door letter box

[Ian7633]

Two cannibals were eating a clown when one turns to the other and said " does this taste funny? "

[Pigmy Pony]

Three goldfish in a tank.

One of them says, 'Anyone know how to drive this thing?'

[Oddball]

I was driving through the countryside the other day and saw a sign advertising a 'talking dog for sale'.

I stopped and knocked on the door - bloke answered and I said 'have you got a talking dog for sale?' he said 'yes he's in the back yard go and have a chat'. So I did.

Dog was there I said can you talk? Dog said 'yes - let me tell you about my life - I worked in Afghanistan for the US special forces who would send me into Taliban villages to gather intelligence. Then I went to the Middle East to work for the British Secret Service against ISIS. Recently I have worked for various drug squads in the UK' Wow I said fantastic.

I went back to the owner and said 'how much for the talking dog?' he replied 'a fiver'....I said 'only a fiver for a talking dog?' He said 'yes - he's a lying b@stard - he's never been out that back yard!'

[Oddball]

Gerry Adams will be on - Im A Celebrity You’ve Got Five Minutes To Get Out Of Here . . apparently.

[Oddball]

Despite her high standing in the local coven Mrs B. is still a very attractive woman and immediately responded when she saw an advert in the pet shop window - 'Available Now, Clitoris licking Frog'.
She went inside to be greeted by the shopkeeper with, 'Bonjour Madame'