Hi David,
Just to pick up on a few points...
Not really, there are quite a few MC cartridges (particularly low-compliance ones with conical styli) which track at 2.5g and above, e.g. Denon DL-103s, not to mention most Ortofon SPUs, which track at 4g! My own SPU Royal tracks at 3g.
In my experience, that tends to occur when the incorrect amount of bias has been applied, thus causing the cantilever to be pulled out of position, and when used over a period of time that way, causes it to bend. Providing that the cantilever or suspension on the cartridge isn't faulty, the 'forcing slightly to one side' you describe certainly has nothing to do with applying a heavy VTF (unless excess tracking force is being continually used outside of the cartridge manufacturer's recommended range).
I'm afraid that this is another popular fallacy. I have records I've owned from new and which have been played for years (many 100s of hours) with 103s and SPUs, tracking at 2.6g and above, and they sound just as good now as they did then!
No, having a stylus sitting nice and snugly inside record grooves at 2.5g, or above, providing that the cartridge has been set up properly, and most importantly, ensuring that the stylus is in tip-top condition, will do records no harm whatsoever. It's when records are played with worn styli and/or are mis-tracking the grooves, often due to insufficient VTF being applied, where the damage is done!
Marco.