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Thread: Pet Hates........or FFS

  1. #3161
    Join Date: Jun 2014

    Location: Chorley Lancs

    Posts: 713
    I'm Steve.

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    I did a similar one during the return ferry crossing from Balboa a few years ago, but mine wasn't self-supporting, rather it was climbing up the porcelain all the way to the seat.

    Unfortunately my phone didn't have a camera, and Mrs. P flatly refused to take a picture with hers. Shame really, I swear that thing had a face.

    I called it Colin, because there's no "i" in colon.
    'I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested'

  2. #3162
    Join Date: Apr 2012

    Location: Southall, West London

    Posts: 34,422
    I'm Geoff.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony View Post
    I did a similar one during the return ferry crossing from Balboa a few years ago, but mine wasn't self-supporting, rather it was climbing up the porcelain all the way to the seat.

    Unfortunately my phone didn't have a camera, and Mrs. P flatly refused to take a picture with hers. Shame really, I swear that thing had a face.

    I called it Colin, because there's no "i" in colon.
    Somebody left a monster in the pan at work one day, but nobody fessed up. We called it 'the sinking of the Bismark'.

  3. #3163
    Join Date: Jun 2014

    Location: Chorley Lancs

    Posts: 713
    I'm Steve.

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    In the office toilets where I used to work (wait, I'll re-word that)

    In the office where I used to work, the toilet had a 'climber' almost every day.

    After some detective work we found it was the bosses son. I think he was under a lot of pressure, and it's likely he commenced shitting before his arse hit the seat in order to save time, and consequently the log was laid upside down, ie log-head hit side of bowl and the rest went downwards with the epilog hitting the water.

    The ladies toilet regularly blocked, until one day our resident handyman came into the office and loudly proclaimed that 'That toilet has a four inch pipe, so someone in here has a five-inch asshole.' It didn't block nearly as much after that.
    'I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested'

  4. #3164
    Join Date: Apr 2012

    Location: Southall, West London

    Posts: 34,422
    I'm Geoff.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony View Post
    our resident handyman came into the office and loudly proclaimed that 'That toilet has a four inch pipe, so someone in here has a five-inch asshole.' It didn't block nearly as much after that.
    Did he get paid 'time and a turd'?

  5. #3165
    Join Date: Aug 2009

    Location: Staffordshire, England

    Posts: 20,153
    I'm Martin.

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    This just gets worse.

    In the office block I work in there was this other company sharing the place for a while and if you went in the bogs... just imagine you took a collection of farm animals; cows, pigs, sheep, goats, badgers, herded them into the toilets and locked them in there for 24 hours.

    I mean it was unbelievable. You had to hold your breath the whole time or you would still be smelling it at ten o'clock that night. It was that sort of stench.

    And you would encounter these people, they would come bombing down the stairwell towards you, and where they touched the wall they would leave dirt like that 'You're my wife now' bloke off of League Of Gentlemen.

    In the end I found a bathroom in the basement that no-one else but the cleaners knew about. Happy days.
    Martin



    Current Lash Up:

    Technics SL1200P CD Player * NVA P90SA passive pre / Krell KSA50S Power amp * JM Lab Electra 926 loudspeakers *



    'The best I advice I ever received was to always remember that no-one else has any idea what they are doing either.'

  6. #3166
    Join Date: Jun 2014

    Location: Chorley Lancs

    Posts: 713
    I'm Steve.

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    Quote Originally Posted by walpurgis View Post
    Did he get paid 'time and a turd'?
    Great stuff! I know he was on a shit wage, as he didn't have a pot to piss in
    'I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested'

  7. #3167
    Join Date: Apr 2017

    Location: Cheshire UK

    Posts: 474
    I'm Martin.

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    Yes I see we are still on the subject of toilets.

    Public toilets are a big FFS for me. Most of them are disgusting and I dread being caught short away from home.

    I will come back to this thread in a couple of pages when hopefully it will have moved on. Im a bit shocked to be honest that grown educated men are posting pictures of full toilet bowls

  8. #3168
    Join Date: Oct 2015

    Location: Pulborough, West Sussex, UK

    Posts: 765
    I'm Ian.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minstrel SE View Post
    Yes I see we are still on the subject of toilets.

    Public toilets are a big FFS for me. Most of them are disgusting and I dread being caught short away from home.

    I will come back to this thread in a couple of pages when hopefully it will have moved on. Im a bit shocked to be honest that grown educated men are posting pictures of full toilet bowls
    +1
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  9. #3169
    Join Date: Aug 2009

    Location: Staffordshire, England

    Posts: 20,153
    I'm Martin.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minstrel SE View Post
    Yes I see we are still on the subject of toilets.

    Public toilets are a big FFS for me. Most of them are disgusting and I dread being caught short away from home.

    I will come back to this thread in a couple of pages when hopefully it will have moved on. Im a bit shocked to be honest that grown educated men are posting pictures of full toilet bowls
    We don't get to choose what we find funny. I mean I don't get the joke either but I just skim over it. I don't find it shocking. But then I have cleaned out pigsties.

    And I used to have to unblock the ladies' toilets when we had the pub. I never worked out why that was always my job. But if you're shocked by shit don't ever attempt to fix the ladies' toilets.
    Martin



    Current Lash Up:

    Technics SL1200P CD Player * NVA P90SA passive pre / Krell KSA50S Power amp * JM Lab Electra 926 loudspeakers *



    'The best I advice I ever received was to always remember that no-one else has any idea what they are doing either.'

  10. #3170
    Join Date: Aug 2012

    Location: Sunny Portsmouth

    Posts: 6,592
    I'm TheMostHonestPersonYouWillMeet.

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    Toilets

    Public ones are just nasty...
    Bev


    Naim CD5XS Through:Black Cat Silverstar 75 To:Naim Dac Through:Naim 5 Pin Din To:Supernait 2 Through:NACA5 To:Living Voice Auditoriums or Rega RS3's or Magneplanar MG1's

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