Opinions needed - Free gift to One Respondant

[stupinder]

I prefer the second listing. It's friendlier and gives more information. I used to wor in advertising before buying our restaurant in france and used to train new recruits how to write good copy.
We used a system called AIDCA; Attention, Interest, Desire, Conviction, Action.
pretty sensible and proved to work.
Attention. Grab the readers attention with a headline. New or News are good ones, as are silly ones. Try not to use simply the name of the product. "New Improved" would be better than Arcam CD.
Interest. This is the bit in the ad where you generate a bit of interest -a photo is good.
Desire; Use of descriptive/emotive words is what this bits about. Beautiful, superior, excellent etc etc.
Conviction; This is the bit where once the reader desires the object but needs convincing to buy it. Limited supply, the best cd player you will own blah blah, secure posting, proffessional packing....
Action; Move the reader to a buyer. give as many options to enable the buying/parting with cash as poss'. "Pay by cash, card, paypal, magic beans" is better than "Cash only"
Hope this was useful. I recently started selling on e bay and just whacked items up and described them. Since using Aidca stuff shifts more qickly and for a higher price!
Stupinder Rajpoot III

[greenhomeelectronics]

Wow, some excellent responses and suggestions here, thank you so much guys. The business and web site are both quite young - we started them in March of last year. My grasp of Zen cart is limited but I have bought the book that has taught me a few things, I have a long way to go. I take all your points on board - some of the changes that Chris has suggested are already in the pipe line, I just need to find some time away from fixing, buying, listing, packing and testing to get them done :-)
One thing is for certain thaough and that is that Mrs Strictly-Corporate has to go :-)
Thanks again guys for some excellent, considered feedback.
Stupinder - good luck with the restaurant, my Brother moved to France last month.

[Mike Reed]

The first is simpler (but lacks the price!!!), therefore quicker on the eye, as already suggested. The second looks (relatively) cluttered.

Green woman from Halifax PLC (or any other building soc./bank, come to that) should be replaced by green hifi pieces, or some other creative computer trickery.

Correct use of the apostophe (and capital letters) would improve credibility (on both images). (The rules for the apostrophe are quite staightforward, but frequently ignored)

[greenhomeelectronics]

Thanks Mike, looking in to a new logo, I am not very creative in an arty sort of way so will bring somebody in on that. I can't see any inappropriate use of the apostrophe, only questionable one I could see was on dac's but that's correct as dac is an abbreviation, yes I know it should therefore be d.a.c but as everybody calls them dac's who am I to argue? :-)
Thanks for your input, much appreciated.

[Mike]

Arghhh!!!

I see M'dame Dominatrix is still there!

Kill her I tell thee!

[greenhomeelectronics]

I can't just kill her, I have nowhere to hide the body. I am working on getting rid of her but more in a sort of html editing kind of way rather than in an axe murdering frenzy kind of way. A very nice man that posts on here has said he will help, don't want to say who it is because he might get inundated with tart removal requests and that would not be fair.
Do keep watching though as I expect her to be gone soon, there are "specialist" adult interest sort of web sites for anybody that misses her.
Dave.

[Mike]

Dave, I have an axe and I'm willing to travel!

[MartinT]

Since dac is an acronym it should be DAC. The plural is therefore DACs without an apostrophe.

By the way, I prefer the second listing with a paragraph of description since the tabular specs tell you nothing about how it sounds. At least the write-up may give a clue. Also, the left-justified photo with right-hand wrap looks ugly to my eyes.

[Filterlab]

I prefer the grid, but maybe put a little free-text box for a brief explanation of superlatives.

By the way, an apostrophe should never be used for pluralisation.

[Marco]

By the way, an apostrophe should never be used for pluralisation.

Indeed!

I prefer the grid, but maybe put a little free-text box for a brief explanation of superlatives

I agree with that concept and think it strikes a neat balance between all the suggestions put forward so far

I don't know about anyone else, but I have a very low boredom threshold for reading long reams of promotional blurb when products are advertised for sale on websites. I always respond better to something slick and visually stimulating which gets the basic information across quickly. If I want more in-depth details on a specific product I will either email or call the vendor direct.

Marco.