I ordered a Thesaurus online recently and received it today - only to find the book completely blank!
I have no words to describe how angry I am!
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I ordered a Thesaurus online recently and received it today - only to find the book completely blank!
I have no words to describe how angry I am!
One for your little kids:
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus happy?
Ten tickles!
Good one Chris!
Another good kid’s joke: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
What did the fish say when he bumped his head on a concrete wall? Dam!
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An old one:
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to find her poor doggy a bone
As she bent over, Rover came over and gave her a bone of his own.
Another old one and one of my all time favorites!
Did you hear about the gyaenocologist who painted his hall way through his front door letter box
Two cannibals were eating a clown when one turns to the other and said " does this taste funny? "
Three goldfish in a tank.
One of them says, 'Anyone know how to drive this thing?'
I was driving through the countryside the other day and saw a sign advertising a 'talking dog for sale'.
I stopped and knocked on the door - bloke answered and I said 'have you got a talking dog for sale?' he said 'yes he's in the back yard go and have a chat'. So I did.
Dog was there I said can you talk? Dog said 'yes - let me tell you about my life - I worked in Afghanistan for the US special forces who would send me into Taliban villages to gather intelligence. Then I went to the Middle East to work for the British Secret Service against ISIS. Recently I have worked for various drug squads in the UK' Wow I said fantastic.
I went back to the owner and said 'how much for the talking dog?' he replied 'a fiver'....I said 'only a fiver for a talking dog?' He said 'yes - he's a lying b@stard - he's never been out that back yard!'
Gerry Adams will be on - Im A Celebrity You’ve Got Five Minutes To Get Out Of Here . . apparently.
Despite her high standing in the local coven Mrs B. is still a very attractive woman and immediately responded when she saw an advert in the pet shop window - 'Available Now, Clitoris licking Frog'.
She went inside to be greeted by the shopkeeper with, 'Bonjour Madame'