What do you get for £10,000

[northwest]

The BBC asks the question:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/click_online/9562304.stm

[IHP]

Nice one graham, cheers. Good to see something on this insane and niche hobby
shown on't telly.

[jandl100]

I tried to play that and "the content doesn't seem to be working".

Can someone give a summary? :)

a) wow, what a fab sound you can get
b) why spend more than £75 at Richer Sounds?

??

[The Grand Wazoo]

A summary for Jerry:


A nice man puts some little magic pipes in a room with the Minstrels from the Scrape, Bang and Blow Band. When they play, they're pointing their instruments at the hairs on the back of your neck.

The music goes in the sound-holes at one end of the pipe and some big scissors in a twinkly desk chop it up into little bits and turn the bits into numbers. Even though the twinkly desk is very expensive, and the man is very wise, he can only count to two. Because he can't read the big numbers, he puts the big numbers in the bin. While the numbers are still in the twinkly desk the nice man gets to do some sums. Then he opens some more sound-holes and a noise comes out at the other end of the pipe. He adds and subtracts and multiplies and divides the numbers until the noise makes him happy.

When he invites the Minstrels from the Scrape, Bang and Blow Band in to listen to the happy noise he's made, it makes them sad because they don't think it sounds the same as it did when they put it in the pipe. Some of the sounds are now on the top shelf & they can't reach them, because they're only small Minstrels.

"Ahaaa!" says the man, "come and sit in my seat, beside my twinkly desk - my special sound-holes only work properly when you sit here".

This makes you wonder why the man asked them to come and listen at all if they weren't going to be able to reach the top shelf.

The man with the twinkly desk takes the noises from the Minstrels in the Scrape, Bang and Blow Band and puts them in a musical wafer.

Then we go to a place where they make special sound-holes for the King of the Land and other very, very rich people so that when they buy the musical wafer they can hear it. The sound-hole makers don't have to try out lots of different ways of making sound-holes, because they have a crystal ball that looks a bit like a window with some buttons near it.
The ball shows them colourful pictures of magical wedges and enchanted mountain ranges.

The crystal ball is very wise and it gives the sound-hole maker a recipe for how to make the kind of sound-holes that the rich peoples ears will like.

When one is made, a poor peasant boy called Jack takes it into a room full of wedges that are stuck to the wall. The wedges are not colourful ones like the magic ones in the crystal ball. This is because Jack is poor and he can't afford a colour licence.

Jack is only a poor peasant but he was given a pair of magic ears by a Wizard. These are the same as the expensive ears that the King of the Land has, so he will know if the new sound-holes will please the King.

Jack has also learnt something from the Wizard - the Wizard told him that the King of the Land asked the Wizard to make his sound-holes sound just like the ones that the man with the twinkly desk has. The Wizard did this by standing them in a place where they won't wobble. He also made the King's throne a special height so that the King's expensive ears can reach the sounds on the top shelf.

The King is very happy with his very expensive sound-holes!

But there is an evil Sorcerer who lives in a place called Salford. He is the King's enemy and he has cast an evil spell that means no sound-hole will ever sound just like the Scrape, Bang and Blow Band. This is because the poor peasants in their little hovels, all the very, very rich people and even the King in his Palace, have been doomed to listen to their sound-holes in a room that is not the same size as the room that the Scrape, Bang and Blow Band like to play in.

Every couple of years or so, The King of the Land and all the very, very rich people will give the sound-hole maker lots of gold and treasure & the sound-hole maker will tell the very, very rich people and the King that the crystal ball has given them a recipe that has defeated the evil Sorcerer's spell - it will make the walls in the Kings Palace disappear.

The King will be happy for a while but then, one morning he will discover that the Sorcerer has sneaked into the palace in the night with some bricks and built some new walls in the room where the sound-holes are.

It's OK though, because like all good stories, this one will have a happy ending because the sound-hole maker is very, very wise and his crystal ball is very magical.





...............and the King has lots of treasure.

[Barry]

Phew! A very neat synopsis if I may say so Chris.

[jandl100]

:lol:

Thanks Chris. :)

... now all I have to do is figure out what the heck you are on about!

[Alex_UK]

... now all I have to do is figure out what the heck you are on about!

And whatever he was drinking - I'll have the same, please! :lol:

[bobbasrah]

Brilliant synopsis Chris....... Class....

[The Grand Wazoo]

... now all I have to do is figure out what the heck you are on about!

Heh heh heh......well, perhaps if you ask nicely, someone will summarise it for you!

[StanleyB]

Heh heh heh......well, perhaps if you ask nicely, someone will summarise it for you!
I had no idea you viewed my various mods with such dark suspicions :rolleyes:.

[Lodgesound]

The report is entirely fictional because the gentleman mixing the sound is over 40...........

No way could you possibly mix sound for the BBC or any media company at that age - you are simply not young or good looking enough to be able to do the job properly.

Would be funny if it was'nt absolutely true - 65% of the BBC's workforce is UNDER 35 years of age.....

[The Grand Wazoo]

I had no idea you viewed my various mods with such dark suspicions :rolleyes:.

Whoa there Stan, steady now!
I'm not exactly sure how you got to that conclusion.

[StanleyB]

I do consult my magic crystal ball from time to time to keep The King happy...

[The Grand Wazoo]

....aaah I see. That'll be it then.
I wondered if perhaps you'd been moonlighting as a scriptwriter for the BBC and had a guilty conscience about taking money for doing such a shite job.

[StanleyB]

It's better than writing the scripts of NCIS and The Mentalist.